hey my pirouttes are back! so strange. its gone missing for i think at least a year.. then suddenly come back again.

for those who dunno wat i'm talking about, i'm talking about the link at hte bottom of each entry which says "do a pirouette!" (or "(x) pirouttes!"). this link is like the normal comments link, where you can post comments on my entries. i put it in when i started this blog, but along the way it went missing so i replaced it with the normal comments link from blogger.. tats y you also see the normal blogger comment link at the bottom of each entry, beside the pirouttes.

yup and i rem explaining why i call it pirouettes.. cuz pirouettes are short spins in ballet jargon. so i guess tat'd be an apt moniker for short paragraphs of comments from my frens, which keeps with the theme of my blog, which is dance .

anw. there's a reason why i havnet been blogging for soooooo long. 2 months plus infact. haha no its not cuz my comp's down again, nor have i finally gone for a holiday (but went for short cruise tho), its also not juz cuz i'm lazy........ its cuz i'm superstitious.

haha first i'm caught up in material stuff (refer to jeffrey's comments in the previous post), now i'm superstitious.

anw yeah.. i din blog cuz i was superstitious.. dun ask anymore.. if you noe wat i'm talking about, good. if not, it doesnt matter. haaaa

anw i'm actually at work now. i guess most of you would probably noe tat i've found a full-time job ald, but for those readers who havnet been keeping touch in me much (dun worry i'm equally as guilty of not making tat contact.. so lets forgive each other and of cuz do sthg about it). I'm working York International, now known as johnson controls and actually the reason i'm coming up here is for work also.

haha no its not that my company encourages us to blog (yes in fact i shldnt be doing this now). its juz tat i was thinking it'd be nice to record down some work stuff which'd come in handy later. of cuz, this is juz experimental. oh wait come to htink of it, i realise it may not be a good idea.. most prob even if i do start this idea, i wont be able to keep this up for long anw. cuz everytime i open up my internet browser, i have to log in and i guess this (besides letting the mgmt noe my online whereabouts, also)increases the inconvenience of me accessing this webbie. which defeats the purpose cuz the purpose is for me to check back regularly wat i've recorded. haha. oh well. ok nvm forget it cuz i realise the blog can only display 5 entries at a time.. which means i cnat access data tat i recorded 5 entries ago. haa.

ok back to work for now.. tho i'm kinda dstracted by something. and becuz i'm superstitious, i cant disclose wat that something is.. oh well mebbe there's no need to be superstitious le.. heh.. ok nvm i noe you're not catching any ball but juz let me ramble k. haiz.

my new desire......










hmmm but cons are lack of radio and camera light. plus will be prone to smudges and stains and scratches on its mirrorlike finish.


to accept it as it is, recognising its flaws as part of its character, or to reject it and look for another one?? tat is the one question tats been plaguing me nowadays......haiz. =(


and oh, it is sony ericsson Z610i. (yes i am a loyal fan of SE phones)

when will i learn to stop being so gullible???

finally!!!!!!!!

i can finally post sthg on my blog. if you have been faithfully checking back on this blog you'll have noticed tat altho there is an 27th aug entry, you din notice it the previous times you checked.. tats cuz there was an error publishing tat post which says sthg like archive limit exceeded which made me htink my blogging days are gone forever till i open up a new blogging account.

so does this mark the start of my comeback to the blogosphere??? i really dunno. i'm blogging only cuz i'm in school and im' lazy to go cadcam lab to explore solidworks, which i set for myself to do. arrrrgh talk about being developing a disciplined lifestyle. heh.

yes i realised there are many things i wanna talk about right now floating about in my mind.. for eg why am i in school, which points to the fact tat i havent found a job, and also the possibility tat i may stop dancing at least for now.. and.. etc etc mebbe i'll juz list them in pt form and elaborate accordingly. haha

ok why am i in school. i signed up for a dreamweaver workshop, which turned out to be a lecture w no handson. but it was a demonstrative lecture, as he showed us how he did certain things. so tho i din really practice much i guess i'd have some basics if i decide to really delve into the macromedia world (yup i've also some basics in flash ald, thx to cow)

then i also tot to use the printers in teh lib to print out some giro form for my internet connection at home, as the printer in my house is practically non-existent from teh day it died on me. i dunno y, but printers keep dying in my house. this is at least teh 3rd printer tat's died in my house ald. issit hte curse of my house or juz me???

and about 40min later i'm gg to meet brian, my dance partner. i think this mtg may possibly mark the end of yet another failed partnership. sadly, unlike the previous ones, this one failed (more accurately, gg to fail) not becuz of events which led to mutual dislike, but becuz some of my priorities clash w dance. and obviously since we're partners his progress in dance depends on me as well. and as i really dun wan to be an obstacle to his passion i think its only right tat we break partnership. besides in terms of competition results we're not performing very well too. so ya.. i may juz be out of the dancing circle very soon.. will miss dance of cuz, esp when i hear latin dance music, but i guess this is the best solution, at least for now. cuz well i realy dun wanna give up my other priority... hee.

and haiz still no job. why why why................so far i've only gone for interviews from dell and smrt taxis. am i really so lousy?? this fren of mine, kimberly has had 15 interviews so far im' really envious of her. she's had 2 offers but both are offering paltry amounts below 2k. but well its not really surprising cuz i think most of the companies are small enterprises, which i dun really care for anw. so ya i' not taaat jealous yet. =p

i'm really hungry.. think i'll go eat now.. ~ciao

test

wow........ its been like 2 months plus since i havent blogged....... i wonder if there are any more pp reading this webbie now..heh..

well for those who havent been keeping in touch w me, and have been wondering which country i have gone touring, the answer is zilch. haha. havent been visiting any places, juz tat my modem died for like close to 2 mths so its kinda inconvenient to blog. and after i finally got my modem set up, i've been lazy to blog.. so only came back now..

many tots and experiences on my mind now..the past 2 months has really been interesting.. i feel that somehow, i have transited into teh next phase of my life - the past is the past. mebbe its got to do with my graduation, but mostly not.. some changes have crept into my life, and tho i'm usually a sentimental person, i welcome these changes, and am expectant of what it brings.

hmmm as my mind goes through wat has happened the last 2 months, i realise there are really many things i can blog about.. like my convocation, and sore lack of interview offers (not a single one, HAIZ.. wats wrong w my job applications..), the many many places i went w my oh-so-lovable pet mouse, the headnshoulders promoter job tat i did (head & shoulders juz added a new shampoo variant into their repertoire, and its called natural shine. contains tea tree oil, hence the nice smell and skincare benefits tat comes along with aromatherapy oils. from wat i noe its the only shampoo w tea tree oil. ok and i wont go further into y everyone shld use H&S Natural Shine.. have been doing tat for 6hours plus every wkend for the past 3 weeks. haa), and, most recently, the very disappointing performance i showed at the lion city dance comp yesterday. really makes me wonder whether i'm suitable to be a dancer after all.. for once, i'm undecided whether to continue dancing. and for once, i shed a tear becuz of dance. juz thinking of it makes me melancholy again. haiz.

time flies.. i shld get back to doing wat im supposed to be doing online, and tats to send resumes. haha. haiz i really hope i can get interviews soon.. hmmm someone juz sent an sms to remind me to trust an unknown future with a known God. Amen. i really thank God for the love tat He has shown me through the pp that he has placed in my life.

anw till the next entry, which hopefully will be posted up soon... hee. ~ciao

taken from a friend's friendster account..

a ger asked her lover who was gifted with a pair of wings, to spend more time wif her. The lover restricted himself frm flyin. So afraid tat her lover might one day still fly away frm her, the ger asked him again... to give up his freedom to fly n realli settle down wif her. All these yr, the lover wanted to protect himself by keepin his wings as he was being cheated so mani time. Knowing her fear, the lover chopped off his wings even though he was still uncertain if the ger realli wan to settle down wif him anot. Hopping tat she will be his last love n realli settle down wif her. The wings was removed...the lover returned to her days later....but could found oni a note which was left behind for him....." I waited for u for so long, i noe u wun give up ur wings for me. I already left wif someone who dun hav wings"
dun ever make someone fall for u ...when u dun intend to catch him in the 1st place. It is the most terrible thing to do to someone in their life.
One day, u might be the one who is going to fall for someone else who is not there for u at all... maybe u had already fallen...n still thinking tat the one u fallen for will b there for u at the end of the fall. ......mayb not...


dun ever make someone fall for u ...when u dun intend to catch him in the 1st place.
how true.....this is the reason why i'm so bitter.. so hurt..


the least you can do now is to apologise.. but you dun even want to do tat.

here it comes again......... merry go round.. only this time it isnt so merry.

dunno why i'mfeeling so sad.. isnt this the best way out for us?

i'm wondering if i'm juz making a big fuss out of things.. wat's so bad about someone not caring a hoot for me? not like i dun have any friends. bleah.

yes spring is approaching.. but the cold winter winds are still blowing.. still blowing.. my eyes are threatening to sting..

dear.. why do you leave me grasping at memories.. that are so elusive...

my heart is broken.. after being torn apart so many many times..

why do you lie to me all these while..? why do you like to lead me on to nothing at the end..?

the necklace.. its colour has gone dull....
woodlands library.. i can never be back there again..

i jus want to hide in the corner.. pls dun disturb me..



dear all: I AM OK. no worries.

this is again a draft which i typed and din get to post.. i forgot when i typed it..


and again, this is also from another gal's blog.. specifically, shakeyourbooty's blog. think its written by her.. its a beautiful poem. tho its not written by me, i completely agree with it. its basically how i feel..haha yes this is one post tat is not written by me, but which i agree with, unlike the previous post tat i quoted from somebody else. heh.

"To speak of love in its rawest form,

You need to know it true

I write of something and yet realize

That I really have no clue.



Love is not jealous

And definitely not unkind

But a precious treasure

Extremely hard to find.



I see love as a fantastic gift

The best one ever could give

But I think I have not learned

Just how to let love live.



I dismiss comments vehemently

The ones I sometimes hear

That I take love too lightly

Even when I draw one near.



But it frightens me to think

Of giving my heart away

Maybe it’s a subconscious prevention

Of getting it hurt some day.



The strength of love maybe lies in weakness

Of vulnerability

And if I’m willing to offer that

Then you’re the one for me.



The voice of love is one that speaks

When logic screams otherwise

The one that makes one act in ways

Against all other cries.



The feeling of love may overwhelm

But may also die away

And it’s commitment, if it’s been made

That urges one to stay.



And that sat me down to think

Of what I really fear

It’s losing love after commitment’s been made

To one I once held dear.



I don’t know when that day will come

Or if it ever will

A day that I will finally learn

How to love until



You’re in so deep there’s no way out

And yet you feel complete

And fulfilled in all ways possible

Now there is love replete.



To love in a way in which there is

Plenty of room to grow

One in which I am completely myself

Maybe that is how I’d know.



When one becomes a better person

To him, and all around

By dismissing practicality,

With two feet on the ground."

here's an article from career central june 2006 which i found to be useful. it is about job burnout, a condition whereby pp dread gg to work at the start of everyweek. haha and i actually tot monday blues was unavoidable. anw, i typed all this out lo.. pls at least scan till the end of the post to make my efforts worthwhile.. =p besides thats where the solutions for job burnout are, so it will be worth reading too..

STRETCHED TOO THIN?

"In today's fast-paced world, experiencing job burnout may be a phenomenon which is common and even understandable. as teh pace of globalisation increases, singaporeans ahve to constantly prove their worth in a global marketplace to keep their jobs.

Often, employees stretch themselves beyond breaking point to out-perform their colleagues or to meet the expectations of their employees, in the hope of securing tat promotion or salary increments. there are those who have survived retrenchment, only to find themselves putting in extra hours to cover the work of those who've left.

What is job burnout?
Job burnout occurs when a person pushes himself too hard and subjects himself to stress or long hours of work without taking breaks or sufficient rests. Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary defines burnout as "exhaustion of physical or emotional strength or motivation, usually as a result of prolonged stress or frustration".

The causes of job burnout are diverse and different for everyone. even if you are not putting in extra hours at work, you may suffer from burnout if your work does not pique ur interest at all. also experiencing job burnout does not necessarily mean tat you detest your job - it's possible for you to experience burnout even when you're working in your dream job.

Jonathan Yue, 25, who was working as a logistics assistant, shares his job burnout episode. "i used to work in a local firm and truly liked the nature of my job. however, my bosses tended to give me tasks where i had no idea of what i was doing or even why i was made to do them. if the task went fine, that was the end of the matter. but if any problems occurred, i was answerable to them."

Jonathan adds, "at first, i could deal with their work attitude and the way i was treated. however, a few months later, i began to feel more stressed and unhappy. i smoked more and became moody. for the sake of my health, i decided to quit and find a new job."

Symptoms of burnout
Feeling moody and stressed are some symptoms of job burnout. others may feel like skipping work and spend teh day hiding in bed while soe may come to work late, unkempt, fatigued adn irritable. others may waste their time checking mails instead of cleawring up their piling work. you may also experience forgetfulness, random bouts of crying and an inability to concentrate. you feel bored with your work, and cant recall why the job used to appeal to you. even your wonderfully witty colleagues and bosses start to sseem like annoying creatures that simply would not leave you alone.

Gordon Phua, 26, suffered from burnout in his previous job as a programmer because he was severely underpaid. he felt depressed and had to drag himself to work only after a few weeks into his new job. he says, "i simply felt like sleeping. perhaps it was escapism because i wanted to evade the issues that were making me unhappy at work. in the end i quit my job because i could not deal with it. it was simply not good for me."

Burnout solutions
Although Jonathan and Gordon resorted to quitting their jobs, be aware that this is not the long term solution to the problem.

to begin, you have to examine the reasons that may have caused you to feel burned out from your job. Begin by asking yourself the following:

1. When did you start feeling like you are suffering from job burnout? is there a particular period or date?
2. What were the significant events that ignited these feelings? were there any restructuring, retrenchment, change in management, job scope or changes in the industry?
3. where do you feel that you suffer most from job burnout? is it in the office or at home becuz you have to rush out the extra work tat you brought back?

once you have determined the cause(s), it is time to list down the ways you can overcome job burnout
Here are some suggestions that you can adopt to make your like at work a calmer and happier one:

1. Reach out and ask for help. Speak to your boss or colleagues about what you are feeling and ask them for help in resolving hte problems you are facing. your boss for eg, has the power to modify yoru job scope to suit your feedback, extend deadlines where possible and increase your pay if you give justifiable rasons. your colleagues can also help wiht your workload. even if it does not solve your problems, you will find listening ears which may help you feel less depressed about work.

2. switch depts. if you have reached your maximum potential in a job and feel that you are no longer "growing" on the job, it is time to request for new challenges or more responsibilities in the same company.

3. pick up a hobby. you may be feeling the sting of job burnout simply becuz you do not factor in "fun times" into ur hectic life. picking up an exciting hobby like salsa for eg, will help you be refreshed and allow you to tackle your job with new-found exuberance.

4. go on dates. go out with your partner, friends, family members after work or during the weekends and allow yourself to be swept away with social affairs instead of living, htinking and breathing your job. having a break may just make you a better performer.

5. take a holiday. go to a far-off island in the middle of nowhere, clad yourself in beachwear, sip a margarita and allow nature to soothe your frazzled nerves. even a trip to nearby bintan or batam may be the antidote for your burnout.

6. leave time for yourself. whether it is reading or jogging, always have some time to yourself to unwind from a stressful day at work. this will give you peace of mind and leave you recharged mentally and physically. those happier at work are those who have a well-balanced life with time for themselves.

If all else fails, find a new job! it is better to change jobs and even accept a pay reduction if it will return your sanity and make you feel better."


heh heh.. typed this in about half an hour.. so pardon the typos.. =p

yet another quote: "anger is only a way of punishing oneself for another's misdeeds"

ok....to everyone who's been reading my blog..i juz wanna clarify.. tat the post "no sex" was not written by me, but by some other gal i happened to chance upon the net. which means, i dun necessarily agree with what she said about not blaming the guy for being pissed off w his wife juz cuz she's not having sex w him. following the blog post are some of the comments posted to TAT blog, which i think are worth noting.. and following the comments are some of the lessons tat i learn from all the comments..lemme post my tots below again, in case some of you are so disgusted by the earlier part of the post tat you dun bother to read to the end.


lessons tat i learnt:

1. post partum depression can make moms resistant to sex
2. post partum depression can result from work overload yet little recognition for the workload.
3. to men, sex is an expression of love, juz like how communication is to women.
4. that is why men feel unloved when their wife refuse to have sex with them, and tend to find sex outside of marriage when it happens.
5. hence, sex is one of the (many) important factors for a successful marriage.
6. however, although sex is a means of expression of love, juz as important as communication, it is not the be all and end all of intimacy between man and wife. Intimacy can be, and shld be, achieved by many other means.
7. also, sex is juz a subset of marriage. There are many things to marriage besides sex, marriage is a convenant to love, no matter wat happens.
8. (hmmm can I then say that sex is a subset of intimacy, which is a subset of marriage??)
9. verdict: as with all other conflicts, both parties have to be understanding towards each other and work together to maintain the good relationship. In this case, the wife has to understand the husband needs sex to feel loved, otherwise the husband might stray, the husband needs to understand tat if the wife does not want sex, it is becuz she is really bogged down by the fatigue of looking after the newborn child ALL DAY, and/or tat she is depressed and hence not in the mood for sex.
10. hence, wat the husband needs to do, is to alleviate her duress by helping her with the chores, and making her feel loved by romancing her, by assuring her with respect to any doubts tat she might have, including but not limited to doubts about her attractiveness.
11. and wat the wife needs to do, is to well, enjoy and delight in the intimacy tat sex brings to the marriage, and not see it as a chore.



and sorry if i have disgusted you by the many times i throw the word "sex" ard, but really, isnt it sthg natural, even sacred between a MARRIED couple? juz cuz it has been abused by so many ignorant teenagers, and single pp who have no reservations about sleeping around, it doesnt deserve to be robbed of its purity and sacredness as the ultimate expression of love between a man and his wife. sex is meant to be exclusive, sacred, wonderful. it is not meant to be abused, taboo nor shameful.

another point, i dunno if you have noticed, but i'm definitely not promoting sex as the ONLY way to have a successful marriage. note points 6, 7, and 8 in the paragraph above.


so there. hope this post clears all misunderstanding.. haiz. so many feathers ruffled for nothing.

came across this blog post.. guess this wld be one of the probs tat most of us wld be facing a few years down the road.. its worth a few tots..posted some of the comments which i tot was worth looking at too..

go here to access the blog itself.



"No Sex

I had lunch with a guy I work with who told me the unwelcome information that his new wife, who just had a baby, hasn't had sex with him for 8 months now. She didn't want to have sex while she was pregnant, which he didn't like, but assumed would end when she was no longer pregnant. There was nothing physically wrong with her, and no doctor made this reccomendation, she just decided that's the way it would go down, so to speak.

It's been five months now, since the baby was born. She's fine, the baby's fine, and she still won't have sex with him. He told me that he feels like he is falling out of love with her. If they don't have sex, he doesn't feel like he's in love anymore.

I can't wait to read the screaming comments I get on this blog post but here's the deal, I take his side in this. His wife is lucky enough to be a full time stay at home mom, while he is working 12 hour days, so I just don't buy that she is too tired, and furthermore (here's where I'll be really unpopular) so what?

You heard me. So what?

I am tired of women who marry a guy, expect him to be faithful, and then refuse to have sex with him, and then act all surprised when he wants to end the relationship.

Every sex expert out there will tell you that men bond through sex. Cuddling is what that do when they can't have sex, or want to get to sex. If you don't have sex with the guy in your life, he stops loving you.

And I don't blame him.

Sure, your his partner and his friend and his confident and a lot of other things but if you married him, you made him promise to have sex with you and only you, and if you don't have sex with him, you are a terrible wife, and he may very well leave you.

And I don't blame him.

Marriage is a deal. Sex was part of the deal. When you break the deal, don't be surprised if he breaks the deal, because the fact is, you broke the deal first.

Now go ahead and start yelling at me."

and the comments:

"An idea, remember what attracted each other and then never forget it. Don't let that flame go out. and, as far as relationships, anyway, learn and share everything together. Be each others best friend and always be there for each other."

"Wow. I agree with all the moms out there, as I am a mom of two myself. No childless person, or even a parent of a baby that is on a "perfect schedule" has any idea how much getting up every 2hours through the night only can affect your daytime mood and happiness. Then throw in the fact that SAHM get very little validation for any work they do...and bam you are ripe for low self esteem and depression. I really agree with the poster that talked about things in life taking away sex temporarily (cancer, babies, depression,etc). If you love your partner then you see there is more to any person than their sexual parts. intimacy is built into healthy relationships in so many other ways. NO ONE should ever feel they need to do something they don't want to do. I am more outraged by the response posts to this than the actual blog. Dont bargain with sex. to withhold, or to unwillingly "put out" is wrong. Sex is to be enjoyed its not a tool to use to punish or keep any person. They need help with their marriage...not sex"

"Maybe if the husband during his FREE time, instead of doing something fun -went HOME and took care of the baby so that his wife could get some UNINTERRUPTED sleep. There is no greater libido killer than RESENTMENT! I wouldn't be at all surprised to hear that during hubby's down time he isn't helping his wife at all and only thinking about himself. I personally, would rather have my two front teeth pulled than give one minute of PLEASURE to a man that I was ready to kill because he was do DAMN SELFISH. I don't even need to know the whole story. The mere fact that he's male and the wife doesn't want to have sex with him (and I'm guessing he is young) pretty much tells me exactly what is going on. Why do all men have such a hard time learning that if you want your wife to want you, surprise! YOU NEED TO MAKE IT GOOD FOR HER! All women love sex. There is either a hormone problem or her husband sucks in bed. When it's done right, that is, and not by the 3 minute wonder."

"First of all, the Grrl Genius isn't trying to steal this man... don't you people bother to read her posts? Or are you too lazy... so lazy that having a couple of kids is all you can handle in life. I've got two children, a full time job, and yes, it can be exhausting. But I have a great sex life with my husband. What sort of marriage would I have if I didn't even want to make love for eight months? BD"

"As a gay man, I believe I've done a little more research in this area than most of you. To a man, sex is an expression of love, the way communication is an expression of love to a woman. If a man refused to speak to you for eight months, you would certainly feel unloved, no matter what his excuse. Refusing sex for eight months sends your man the clear message that you don't love him. That's what this is all about."


"You know, in the past, I'd have disagreed with you. But now I'm living with a roommate whose dating life consists almost exclusively of providing sex that men aren't getting in their marriage. (They also, incidentally, often begin such relationships by having just the type of discussion you had with your co-worker.) Now I realize that it's much easier for a man to go looking elsewhere for sex than it is for him to work on any problems that may be causing the "dry spell." There are plenty of women who are happy to provide it.

So I agree, not with the principle of what you're saying, but with the facts: it's laughably easy for a man to first find someone who is sympathetic to his unhappiness (and does not care about his wife's side), and then will provide what he feels he is lacking. You may think of it as an expression of love and feeling close to each other, but he can and will get it from someone he neither loves nor feels close to.

Trust me."


"I think you are an absolute idiot!!! There is a lot more to marriage than sex. Does "for better or for worse" ring a bell? I think that you and your friend both throw the word divorce around like it's nothing. If he wasn't committed to his wife in the beginning then he shouldn't have married her. But he did and he has to realize that marriage goes a whole lot deeper than sex. What if one of them had some sort of an accident that prevented them from having sex again!?! Would you say divorce is the answer? I can't tell you how much it urks me listening to people like you who obviously don't have a clue what a real deep committed relationship is built of. Oh, and finally, this guy shouldn't be talking to you about this....he should be talking to his wife. Hearing about it from a third party (YOU) is completely unreliable because you don't know the half of it. It's none of your business and you shouldn't be giving him advice. You don't have a clue what you're talking about."


"If we can all agree that IF there is no medical problem (POST PARTUM), then she is heading for "other" problems because men DO equate sex to intimacy. And to all the mothers out there, "For better or worse" means things that are OUT OF YOUR CONTROL and sex isn't one of them. Why all the accusations towards women like us who are not married? We are just telling you the absolute truth, they will go somewhere else - even the good ones - don't KID yourself. And why all the screaming at Grrl Genius? They are co-workers who are friends. Better yet to talk about it to someone than act on it with someone. I know as well as everyone else here, women use sex as a weapon and if they take it to such a degree, men will retaliate. You may not like it, but is is the way the world is. I have a hard time believing all these moms who claim that it's because of the babies. I'm going to bet they weren't that hot to trot to begin with. All this man-bashing is a joke when it is women who have the biggest sexual hang-ups. Single, 38"

"The problem is that married guys only see the goal-sex. They figure just because they are married the wife has to do it. Well, if the guy would stop being hung up with the fact that his wife isn't 'putting out' and start trying to romance her again, maybe he wouldn't have that problem. She needs to feel beautiful, but she might feel ugly and useless because she feels she is failing him. But truthfully, he is failing her. He needs to be more mature about the situation and focus on her needs. There is always two sides to a story, don't judge her, she is a new mother. Everything is new to her, obviously. He must also be new at this, so someone should explain things to him. Sometimes we see only the thing affecting us and not the other party. He needs to listen up!"






lessons tat i learnt:

1. post partum depression can make moms resistant to sex
2. post partum depression can result from work overload yet little recognition for the workload.
3. to men, sex is an expression of love, juz like how communication is to women.
4. that is why men feel unloved when their wife refuse to have sex with them, and tend to find sex outside of marriage when it happens.
5. hence, sex is one of the (many) important factors for a successful marriage.
6. however, although sex is a means of expression of love, juz as important as communication, it is not the be all and end all of intimacy between man and wife. Intimacy can be, and shld be, achieved by many other means.
7. also, sex is juz a subset of marriage. There are many things to marriage besides sex, marriage is a convenant to love, no matter wat happens.
8. (hmmm can I then say that sex is a subset of intimacy, which is a subset of marriage??)
9. verdict: as with all other conflicts, both parties have to be understanding towards each other and work together to maintain the good relationship. In this case, the wife has to understand the husband needs sex to feel loved, otherwise the husband might stray, the husband needs to understand tat if the wife does not want sex, it is becuz she is really bogged down by the fatigue of looking after the newborn child ALL DAY, and/or tat she is depressed and hence not in the mood for sex.
10. hence, wat the husband needs to do, is to alleviate her duress by helping her with the chores, and making her feel loved by romancing her, by assuring her with respect to any doubts tat she might have, including but not limited to doubts about her attractiveness.
11. and wat the wife needs to do, is to well, enjoy and delight in the intimacy tat sex brings to the marriage, and not see it as a chore.

"people may not remember what you did for them, or even what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel."

tat is so true.......

juz to update on a previous post regarding my results, well i passed everythign!! thank God.. really.. i really wldnt hve been surprised if i din pass everything..

yup altho the results were far from ideal, with lots of Cs and even 1 D, i'm still qte happy.. cuz me passing means i stil have a chance at getting an honours, however small tat may be. and even if i really dun get any honours, well at least i saved an extra sem and the financial and time costs tat wld go along with it.

but well the only black spot is tat i seem to be doing badly for all my fav subjects, which happen to be the ones i'd be depending on when i'm applying for jobs tat i wld prefer. heh. but its okie, im sure He would bring me through. =)

a quiet fire burns deep within me,
its so deep you cant see.

but have faith and do not doubt,
even tho my passion is in shroud

patience is but everywhere,
juz be brave and its in your hands.

take hold of it,
and one day you'll see


the fire deep within.

I AM BACK!!!! yesh no worries my dear readers, all's well with the queen of - err... which word rhymes with "well"... err dell?? since i'm applying for position in dell.. ok nvm.. all's well with your favourite belle :p

yup, have been so busy since the end of exams. which is ironic isnt it? im' supposed to be having my holidays now.

but i guess, precisely its my holidays, tats y i've been gg out with friends more often.. but cuz i'm also having my GE, and tying up the loose ends of my fyp, im' really up to teh neck with activities.

lets see.. what have i done in teh past 2 weeks? oh wait, its actually 3 weeks since the end of the exams... been so caught up in activities that i've lost track of time..

hmmmm i went out with mouse, rainne, serene, jeffrey, shao, long, xiu, angelus and the ny clique, raymond, dawn, ruizhen, michael, and attended a bday party of one of my dance frens.. Not in order of preference, choronological sequence, frequency or anything else. hmmm did i miss anyone out??? and more to come include jc gathering, church camp, gg out with yugui, and my twinkie group. haha i seem to be gg out alot.. but actually for most of the pp in teh list i hve only gone out w them once in teh last 3 weeks. yup.. so have room for more, so dun let anything stop you from having a catch up session w me ya? hee......but hmm do let me noe a week in advance, so i can leave tat time slot for you. :)

oops i sound like i think i'm so popular.. disclaimer: tat is not the case.. i'm really juz an antisocial, weird and dao brat who really needs to do less things alone. haha.

moving on from meeting up with frens, i have also recently juz got a new hairstyle (haha i paid $126 to have a neater head of hair), started (but not ended, hee!) shopping in the GSS (great singapore sale, for the uninitiated) , gone back to dancing (learnign waltz every tues and fri now, ooooh i'm so excited at teh tot of it!), and started a regular swimming routine. i'm aiming for at least once everyweek, but so far only 2 weeks have passed so i cant really comment on my consistency yet haha.

hmmm after the stock take i realise why i feel like i have been neglectign my work.. becuz tat is really the case!! haha....not tat i havent been doing my fyp and ge, of cuz, in fact those 2 are the reasons why i'm back in school now.. bleah. have been busy with fyp even after the presentation cuz of some modifications required by my moderator. then needed to submit my abstract to the library as well.. as for my ge, needed to do presentation, write up, which is due very soon but which i havent done. haa.

not tat i'm complainign about my GE tho.. cuz seems lke we've got a watered down version of the GE as compared to the sessions held in normal term. (i'm taking it now, which is the special sem I) compared to the normal sessions, which got much less presentatins and essays to write (juz one presentation and essay to write for me), but more field trips. in the short span of 4 weeks, we've had 3 days of field trips, and in those 3 days 5 destinations. ie Urban Redevelopment Authority, Jurong Town Corporation Summit, Biopolis@one north, the industrial estates under JTC, and Jurong Island. really enjoyed myself in those field trips, they were so informative. i feel like i noe more about sg now.. there's more to this tiny red dot on teh map than juz shoppign centres, schools, housing estates.. offices.. i've a *slightly* wider perspective of the urban landscape in sg now (the ge's title is sthg like "urban planning and landscapign sg")

speaking of which, i even discovered that there're FREE HOLLYWOOD movie screenings at biopolis auditorium every month! ya they managed to convert the auditorium into a movie theatre..with good sound, good seats (no lovers' seats tho). and its really free admission, even for the public. i even saw a teenage couple there lo. obviously not biopolis staff. not bad ya.. juz tat biopolis, which is at buona vista, is a bit far for pp who live in teh east, and also teh movies they show wil most likely be those tat were screened slightly earlier.. for eg they screened juz like heaven 3 days ago. teh movie was shown islandwide somewhere in dec last year. oh i muz mention the parks in biopolis too.. in the daytime they make biopolis a great place to work in, and in teh night time, its juz perfect for a quiet stroll with erm a good company. cuz the landscaping is good, and cuz its on top of a hill you get a fairly good view downhill, which is the buona vista/holland v area. the ambience is juz right for a bit of waltz-ing, heh heh..oh click here to check the schedule of the movie screenings.. oh i realise they show the world cup too. heh heh.. do go and check the place out if you have time and happen to be in the west area..

wow i have blogged so much.. i think i shld get back to writing my resume for dell, and gettign started on the writeup for my ge.. heh heh.. and of cuz, prepare for my presentation for tmr morning.. urrgh its strange how i'm always bloggign when i'm supposed to be busiest with work. heh..

take care guys.. till the next post..

i feel sad............

why do i feel so sad.......

why am i hanging on????

not like i havent been through this before..

why do i feel worse this time...



but.. i'm okie.. no point being not ok...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!EXAMS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!

finally my exams are over............besides 3 papers spread out over 2 weeks, i also survived 3 consecutive days of papers.. fluids, management of product development and electrics/electronics (epm).. all heavy weight papers mind you.... hmmm but sadly i think i have a HIGH chance of failing the last two ones.. cuz by the end of my fluids, i was already in holiday mood.. dunno y, was quite tired out by the fluids, so din really have the drive to continue on with prod devt and epm. and the worse thing was, i felt tat the epm paper was easy.. so i guess many pp's gonna score very well and becuz of the bell curve (which helps us most times but harms us sometimes), i'm gonna fail it. arrrgh!!! gonna lose my honours, at the last lap. haiz. more time and money gonna be spent too. if my school fees were like in $50 per sem, of cuz i wldnt be upset. but we're talking about a few thousands here... =(

shucks y am i so negative. cannot cannot..cannot be negative..if so negative then how to find job? hmmm but actually i'm not being negative, i'm juz being realistic.and actually i'm not really bothered by it lar, cuz i always noe He has a good plan for me, plans to prosper me, and not harm me. =) but its juz tat i dun like to deceive myself tat things are nice and perfect, i uphold authenticity, within ourselves, within our relationships and within our perspectives. to be realistic is to face truth headon, and not to deceive ourselves or run away from problems. but tats where the similarity with pessimism ends. becuz facing truth does not mean being intimidated by it. it does not mean losing hope.

hmmm i seem to be contradicting a recent post of mine. but well, it takes courage to face the truth.. sometimes i have enough, sometimes i dun. haaa..but i noe watever probs tat i m running away from, i have to face it sooner or later.

ehh wld like to blog more, in the mood to do so but gotta go off now.. till the next entry~

i think im getting flabby... and fat........ at the wrong areas. arrgh. one of my frens commented that one good thing about exams is that they help us to lose weight. tats not true for me. i need to munch when i'm stressed, tats y i need tidbits when studying. which also means, if i were to study outside, i'd prefer to study in cafes/canteens rather than in libraries.

and i wanna say, i din forget.. im juz protecting myself..

how long more???? how long more before this exam ends???

these few days, i have gained some experiences, experiences of how far 300km is, and how hard a wooden block feels to a soft warm heart.

i have underestimated my knowledge of fluids. i look at my notes and discover many alien things. i spur myself to make sense of them, i implore my notes to let me understand them, both to no avail.

it is at times like these that my mind wanders, and my heart follows. but they are both lost, or rather, they do not want to find themselves, for they are afraid of answering questions. eg, questions that ask them to find the pressure at the end of the adiabatic pipe with friction (tats a fanno flow, btw), and other types of questions.


numbness sets in...........i shall attempt to befriend my fluids notes again.

phew! today has been a tumultous day for me. but thanks to His grace and providence, everything was sorted out in teh end.

it started off with a disgusting sight i saw on my way to school. was on my way to teh bus-stop and through my peripheral vision, saw this little boy (i presume) doing his business by the side of the pavement i was walking on. he had his shorts pulled down to about his knees (cldnt ascertain the details cuz upon noticing the sight, i immediately pretended to be too busy smsing to realise anything) but the worse thing was, he was facing the pavement, not away from it in a half squatting position. means if i actually turned my head in his direction (which i definitely din, of cuz) i wld have an almost full frontal view of everything. my goodness. in fact actually i cant really say he cld be excused by his juvenility cuz i seemed to see sthg black down there, means he shld have been past puberty???! on the other hand his height was like a child. but well, i shall give him the benefit of the doubt. but anw thankfully i only had a v unclear view through the corner of my eye, and it only lasted for less than sec cuz i immediately looked away so din see anything. so only suffered minimal visual pollution. heh. but strangely i was abnormally calm, when i shdnt be, cuz in a way i was almost exposed to indecent behaviour by some adult male??? i juz pretended to be oblivious and continued walking to the bus-stop
w/out missing a beat. in fact when i got to the bus-stop i saw a lady looking at me, with juz a slight hint of weird expression on her face but i continued to pretend nothing was amiss. a while later i stole a glance back at where i spotted the sight, but thankfully i was spared teh awkward sight cuz the "child" was no longer there. for a moment i tot mebbe i was imagining things but a subsequent whiff of the smell of fertilizers confirmed otherwise. heh. oh well. i really do hope it was a boy there, but still, given his height he shld be at least 9 yrs old? tat's ald too old for doing business in public isnt it? and i hope he din cause any stress to any other lady.

soon after i got on the bus, my nose started behaving like a malfunctioned tap. kept on sneezing and blowing my nose. thankfully i ate lunch shortly after, so gained some energy to prevent it from being worse.

i got to school and started to finish up my fyp project. in fact i juz needed to type the contents page, print the whole thing out, photocopy the appendix, and bind the whole lot together. i estimated a maximum of 1 hour to do tat, but in the end it took me 3 whole hours. why? cuz

firstly, i discovered that detection of my thumbdrive by my comp was lost midway. i couldnt save teh work that i opened from my thumbdrive, neither back into the thumbdrive, nor onto the desktop. the comp kept telling me that there was insufficient space to do tat. subsequently i discovered that the things in my thumbdrive all disappeared. immediately i tot the thumbdrive i was using had been corrupted, AGAIN. (yes its the 2nd time that happened to me in a sem, and no this wasnt the thumbdrive tat died on me the first time. haiz dunno y i keep having this thing with thumbdrives.) i also realised i may not be able to submit my report today after all. i cld still print the thigns that were open on the comp, but there were other things to be included tat was lost together with the rest of the data in the thumbdrive. so i had to redo them, and i wld take at least 3 hours to do that, which is more than the time i had to submit the report. so i called up my prof and told him teh "good" news. well he sounded ok about me extending the deadline (again), not angry at all. i'm thinking whether he was hiding any daggers behind tat frenly exterior, like "yeah be a bad gal for all you want, i'll juz deduct marks from your report when i mark it" or was it juz cuz he was too used to my bad gal behaviour and was expecting me to extend the deadline anw?

and together with teh prob of not being able to submit my fyp on time, was the complication that actually this thumbdrive wasnt mine.. it was lent to me by someone (to provide a temporary substitution for tat first thumbdrive tat died on me) and all his stuff was inside! i was qte lost then, and needed some help. initially wanted to call him, but he's been kinda busy lately and i have this feeling he wldnt really like to be disturbed so din really feel inclined to trouble him unless absolutely necessary. so i called up my project mate, and he suggested that i get another thumbdrive and save the work tat was open on the comp before it got lost as well, and to try the dead thumbdrive on another comp to see if the data can be read there. as i was alone and thus had no one else to borrow thumbdrive from, he helped me borrow a thumbdrive from his fren who was in the lib as well.

so i got another thumbdrive, but it wasnt of much use cuz again there wasnt enough memory to save it into the thumbdrive. and things took a turn for the worse when again the comp suddenly cldnt detect the new thumbdrive even tho it was plugged into the comp. it disappeared from windows explorer altogether, altho the hardware was still happily blinking away from the comp's usb port. somehow i also cldnt "safely remove" it from the comp. which means, i'm stuck with another possibly dead thumbdrive, which again, wasnt mine. =S i called up my proj mate again and this time he was at a loss too. for a moment i really cldnt think of wat else to do, then, i tot mebbe i cld log off and hopefully the comp can regenerate the data in the thumbdrives tat were plugged into it. and tats wat i did, and thank goodness, the new thumbdrive recovered =D. but my fren's thumbdrive still seemed empty =|however, this time, i cld safely remove both of them.

i changed comp and voila! both the thumbdrives cld be read!! all the data tat appeared missing was back in where they were supposed to be. felt it was truly God's grace tat made this happen, i was really thankful for tat.

so i began to do up the content page again (since the work i did on teh other comp was lost) and started to print my report out. but probs kept occurring (like empty cashcard, wrong print jobs, etc), causing delays, however they were easily solved/taken care of. i made ALOT of trips to and from the printing machine, and wiped out my cashcard in less than an hour. i spent about $35, and got 1 colour copy and 2 b/w copies of my report, which had slightly over 70 pages each, and about 20 pages of rough paper (the result of wrong print jobs).

but by the time i was done, it was ald 6pm, my prof had gone home. cldnt submit it to the general office either, as it was closed. so can only submit it on monday, which means i have to specially come back juz to submit the report to my prof, cuz my lessons have ended. haiz. all the way to ntu juz to hand in something... if i had other things to do in the west it wldnt be tat bad actually.. but oh well i guess life's like tat.

yupz tats all for today.. had to endure a drippign nose teh whole time too. but at the same time i also experienced His providence, not juz in the thumbdrive fiasco but also in teh other less major probs tat i encountered today..for eg there was once i had a print job which cost $6.30, and the balance in my cash card read $6.40. it was jus nice loh. somehow, i juz kinda felt it was miraculous. =D

so yeah, tot i shld thank and praise Him for today before leaving school, and hence this entry. started writing 2 hours ago, but feel its worth it. thank You Father, for Your faithfulness and providence and companionship. i know i'll never starve with You around, and even tho i forget sometimes, You're still here looking out for me. Father i pray that You'll constantly remind me of Your love, may i fear and revere You, and worship You in the way tat is pleasing in Your eyes. thank You for always listening to my prayers, in teh name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me"

A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out. Your heart is open to where ever love takes you! Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking What turns you off: fighting and conflict Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

of late, i have been thinking about cutting my hair short. and changing my hairstyle in the process. tats cuz i cant stand my frizzy ends.. was hoping the short length will concentrate the nutrients tat is sent to my hair, and thus hope tat my hair will be smoother, with less kinks and frizzes. cuz tats wat happened to a fren of mine.. her hair had split ends and stuff.. but due to some reasons, she decided to cut it all off.. to a shoulder length. she stayed with this hairstyle for several months, refusing even to grow it out for dance. but when she did become too busy to go teh hairdresses, she discovered wat grew out was a head of hair tat is so soft.. so smooth.. so dreamlike. and i want tat kind of hair!!!! so ya. wanna cut it short.

but its a good hair day today, and suddenly i felt like letting my hair grow grow grow.. till my waist. imagine having smooth, straight hair tat reaches till the waist.. tat is so feminine!

hmmmm but tat is juz a passing tot. firstly cuz i think i'm too short for hair of such length and secondly, i muz admit i have more bad hair days than good ones, so i really need the haircut. heh. besides i dun really like to have too long a head of hair. cuz well it looks tooooooo tame. i htink im' tame enough, dun wanna appear to be more tame than i ald am. otherwise i'll be bullied by pp. haaa. seriously dunno why i suddenly for a moment wanted long long hair.

crazy me.

referring to laser beams, my m462 prof said today, "There will always divergence, it is just whether you can tolerate it."

and it struck me, how full of truth tat sentence was....

why am i doing this to myself...??

juz wanna drop a note of appreciation to all those who have egged me on to finish my fyp asap from time to time.. thanks guys, i will. =D

"The ancients used to convey "love" with a combination of three pictographs.

The overall construction of the word is deeply meaningful when one considers how the pictographs for "breath" and "heart" are positioned above the "friend" pictograph.

Is this because we believe love to be a breath of life to the heart, built on a foundation of friendship?"




~ from www.tigerbeer.de

if i am a material, i guess i wld...

have a very low modulus of elasticiy..

have a very low yield strength..

exhibit a high amount of plastic deformation...

be approaching necking point..

and be prone to strain hardening.

as for my tensile strength.. well.. i really dun wanna noe....ever.

Your Eyes Should Be Violet

Your eyes reflect: Mystery and allure What's hidden behind your eyes: A quiet passion

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

ya! tats it! a quiet passion... i like. =)



hmmmm but i htink purple pupils look a bit scary. hehz...

Your Birthdate: January 10

Independent and dominant, you tend to be the alpha dog in most situations. You're very confident, and hardly anything ever shakes you. Mundane tasks tend to drain you - you prefer to be making great plans. You are quite original. When people don't "get" you, it bothers you a lot. Your strength: Your ability to gain respect Your weakness: Caring too much what others think Your power color: Orange-red Your power symbol: Letter X Your power month: October

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

aiya i super no confidence one.. heh.. and i dun get bored by mundane tasks.. i'd rather have boring jobs than stressful jobs anytime manz. heh. hmmm and shld i change my name to Xylvia????? hahahhaa............hmmm idea eh..

Your Birthdate: January 10

Independent and dominant, you tend to be the alpha dog in most situations. You're very confident, and hardly anything ever shakes you. Mundane tasks tend to drain you - you prefer to be making great plans. You are quite original. When people don't "get" you, it bothers you a lot. Your strength: Your ability to gain respect Your weakness: Caring too much what others think Your power color: Orange-red Your power symbol: Letter X Your power month: October

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

aiya i super no confidence one.. heh.. and i dun get bored by mundane tasks.. i'd rather have boring jobs than stressful jobs anytime manz. heh. hmmm and shld i change my name to Xylvia????? hahahhaa............hmmm idea eh..

doubts. fears. low confidence. disappointment. asphyxiation. wild tots. fears again.
disillusioned.


pain...in the shoulder and.. somewhere else..

from the blog of a fren of jasmine's:

"Desperate and helpless and longing, I cried.
Patiently, lovingly, my Lord replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate;
And the Master so gently said,
'Child, you must wait.'

'Wait? You said wait?' my indignant reply.
'Lord, I need answers. I need to know why.'
Is Your hand shortened or have You not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming Your Word.

'My future and all to which I can relate.
Hangs in the balance, and You tell me wait.
I'm needing a yes, a go-ahead sign,
Or even a no to which I can resign.

'And Lord, You promised that if we believe
We need but to ask and we shall receive.
And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry,
I'm weary of asking, I need a reply.'

Then quietly, softly, I learnt of my fate
As my Master replied once again, 'You must wait.'
So I slumped in my chair defeated and thought,
and grumbled to God, 'so I'm waiting for what?'

He seem then to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, 'I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun;
I could raise the dead, cause the mountains to run.

'All you seek I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depths of My love for each saint;
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

'You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence were all you could see.

You'd never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove.
You'd know that I give and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

'The glow of My comfort late in the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked of an infinite God
Who makes what you have last.

'And you'd never know, should your pain quickly free,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dreams for that loved one overnight may come true,
But oh the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.

'So be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though often may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious of all is still, Wait."

darn. and i told myself i'll get back to my laptop before nightfall.

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as warm and well-balanced. Overall, your true self is reserved and logical. With friends, you seem logical, detached, and a bit manipulative. In love, you seem mysterious and interesting. In stressful situations, you seem sad and helpless.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?

hmmm really??? and i tot i was like an open book.. so boring. and i'm logical and detached meh?? and i always tot pp think i look dao.. haa..

You Are Likely a Second Born

At your darkest moments, you feel inadequate. At work and school. you do best when you're evaluating. When you love someone, you offer them constructive criticism. In friendship, you tend to give a lot of feedback - positive and negative. Your ideal careers are: accounting, banking, art, carpentry, decorating, teaching, and writing novels. You will leave your mark on the world with art and creative projects.

The Birth Order Predictor

right about the 2nd born.. heh.. and looks like i m really in the wrong course..

You Are 30% Boyish and 70% Girlish

Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine. You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you. A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down. But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

and i tot i was more boyish... i think i grew to be more girly over the years.. or shld i say.. more womanly.. heh heh..

Today is a happy day.. cuz I met 2 of the few pp that I like most.. hehe.

I finally met rainne today, after weeks of saying that we'll meet each other. Really had a good time catching up with her, and glad tat her crazy working hours hasn't caused her to look any less pretty than she was before she graduated. But more importantly, im glad that months of not meeting up hasnt eroded the frenship between us, despite our shared characteristic of being "high maintenance" in relationships (that means we need to keep contact with pp often to stay connected to them). But it was a pity that we cld only meet for 2 hours tho, otherwise we cld have shared more. The blame goes to my fyp. Haiz.

Anw, we ate lunch at subway. Its having a promotion.. if you order the "hot" sandwich, which is basically the same sandwich but toasted, you'll get a free upgrade to the meal, which includes a drink, and either 2 cookies or 1 pack of chips.

After the wonderful lunch, I went home for a short while to do my fyp before meeting him. Havent been meeting him too often nowadays, as he is ultra busy these few weeks - and of cuz I haven't been too free either, wat with my fyp and 7 other deadlines in 3 weeks..faintz. And hey I din noe that if we put 2 asterisks around a word, tat word becomes bold in Microsoft Word, and juz to digress, the French name for "word" is mot, and back to the topic on hand - yup he is indeed really so busy his days are super duper packed. So packed that one sms per day is the max that he can send to 8133 xxxx. So mentally tired that he forgets how nice small hands can feel. And so fatigued that holding more than one file in his hands is a problem. Haiz, he is so ke lian now. And he has to endure this for at least 2 more weeks.. or shld I say he has to endure this for another 2 months. Cuz after 2 weeks the heat will still be on, juz tat it will come from another place. But i'm sure he will emerge stronger, yes? And yes I have to endure these 2 months too.. and actually I’m kinda apprehensive about wat happens beyond these 2 months.. will I get a job I like? Will I even get a job in the first place?

Anw, back to the topic of meeting him..i keep digressing. we had wanted to watch a movie, but strangely there wasnt any good timing for the movies we wanted to watch. And there were no other decent movies when we went. So we decided to just shop around for his shoes, but tat was a fruitless trip too. Like the last few times tat we met up, he was deadbeat and needed to find a place to stone. and since I wasn’t hit by the shopping urge then, we wandered around.. wandered, wandered and wandered to wheelock place. Cldnt find any nice stoning places, so the next natural thing to do was to eat dinner. We ate sakae sushi, and he treated me. For no special occasion, and even tho we have exceeded the mid-class food consumption rate that he'd prefer to have. Thanks dear, that's sweet of you..

And of cuz I ate my favourite japanese dish.. the fried tofu in some sauce and garnished by fish flakes (so I was told). Wld eat it whenever I have the chance. A pity it seems that we dun share the same food taste, so he cldnt appreciate it as much as I did. But well I din really appreciate sashimi too.

Yup tats about all tat we did…we went home after the dinner. I mean, he sent me back home, before meeting his client. tats another nice thing he did today. So for today we spent a short but precious 3 hours.. which translates to a short but precious 6 hours for this week.




The green tea icecream was eaten fairly quickly. But why use allegory? Shy? Din wanna cause hurt? or juz dun wanna face up to the truth?

and happy birthday to my mom!

You Should Be With a Water Sign!

Your best match is a Cancer, Scorpio, or Pisces Why? You crave intimacy and connection in your relationship And while most guys can't open up enough for you, a Water Sign can Not that you're whole relationship will be soul gazing A Water Sign matches your goofy sense of humor - and desire to help others.

What Sign Should You Date?

wow........ this is interesting..... very interesting indeed... heh.......

You Are a Skin Deep Sweetheart

You may be supermodel gorgeous or a plain Jane. It really doesn't matter, because you're confident and secure. You don't go out looking like a slob, but you are low maintenance. You have better things to worry about than whether your nails are the right shade!

Are You Obsessed With Your Looks?

yup i agree.. hehe..

hello kitty airlines

tat's it. if ever i go japan, i'll take the taiwanese Eva Air!

currently in teh library... hungry.. tired.. stressed.. eurrgh. and trying not to feel faint.. =S

and yes its my favourite date again! heh..

quoted from the better man "Tammy is already a victim for a vicious attack. Her time is in a total mess and she has to live a life of a refugee. I will say that her plight is worse that the victims of the 911 attack, 2004 tsunami, Bali bombings and the latest phillipine landslide. Has anyone spared a thought for this poor girl? Many of you can argue that she shouldn't had let her boyfriend film their sexual escapades. Some of you can also argue that a 17 year old polytechnic student should not even be having sex in the first place. The rest can even argue that she should be punished and expelled!? Let us get the facts straight, why is all the attention on poor tammy and not her boyfriend? We can only guess. People all around the world have sex, so what's the big deal? Why should a victim get further abused? It's like sentencing a victim of a robbery to jail because he/she was robbed. Does this even make sense?"

i'd disagree with the part about her having a plight worse than the disaster victims, but other than tat, yeah.. i'd say i agree more or less with the better man. but first let me digress.. lemme point ur attn to teh sentence "..why is all the attention on poor tammy and not her boyfriend?" ya, tammy AND her bf are in this together, but how come only tammy's name get mentioned? watever blame/ridicule/pity tat tammy gets, her bf shld get it too. in fact, its not juz their incident. whenever somethign scandalous happens between a gal and a guy and especially it it involves the word which begins with s, ends with x and has e in the middle, its always the female name tat is on the tip of everyone's tongue. juz look at that FEMALE taiwanese polician..wats her name i forgot (good for her). i feel unjust for my half of the world population. its true, there will never be equality between the sexes. while i'd say inequality between teh sexes are sometimes sensible and justified (for after all women and men have different emotional and physical makeup, and are capable at different things), in the case of fingerpointing, inequality is, and shld always be, totally uncalled for.

ok gg back to the topic on hand, i'd say that tammy AND her bf are really very poor things now. it is definitely wrong to "[sentence] a victim of a robbery to jail because he/she was robbed." altho it is true that they were silly enough to commit the mistake of recording their sexploits on film, they do not deserve to be ridiculed and shamed by the public juz becuz of tat silly mistake.(i am not condoning pre-marital sex, that is another issue which i can blog one whole paragraph on) and if i were them, i wldnt noe wat to do except to take a year off school, at the very minimum. guess i'll change my name too. and mebbe wear shades, change my hair colour and never wear it up when i go out to public, and tats only when i cant stand being cooped up at home anymore.

actually, its not really juz the stares/condemnation/ridicule from the public that plague the couple. it is also, if not more so, the fear and shame felt within themselves. becuz, even if their disguise is successful and no one recognises them, its inevitable that they'll keep having tots of otherwise. the fears itself, of recognisation and even hearing their names from lips of strangers are bad enough, nevermind whether the public ACTUALLY recognises them or talk about them. even when everybody has forgotten about them, it doesnt mean that they (ie tammy AND bf) themselves will have forgotten about this issue.. i guess teh emotional scar will take a long time to heal.. i wish them all the best in this aspect.

but well altho i really feel for them, at the same time really, i feel they should have been smarter than to take a video of their sexploits and not only that, but also to keep it on their handphone, sthg tat is so easily lost, if not stolen. cuz really, watever you record, no matter how much you want it to be hidden, no matter wat measures you take to keep it concealed, there's always a chance that it will be exposed someday. and never underestimate that possibility, especially if its sthg you really do not want to show anyone. as i have said to a fren before, the only things tat we can conceal (and only from men, not God) are the things that were never out in the daylight in teh first place.

in a nutshell, i'd say the TWO of them deserve our sympathies (and i hope that their loved ones can rally round them and support them), and i guess the only critical thing i can say about them is tat in teh first place they shouldnt have done such silly things tat cld have (and eventually did) hurt themselves.


ehhh wanted to juz spend 5 min to write a short comment about the better man's entry but in the end wasted 1plus hour.. =| not like i'm so free.. i've been wondering how i can survive my 6 deadlines over the next 2 weeks. heh.

latest results of my johari quiz...from being mainly sentimental, to being mainly cheeful. heh...

Arena (known to self and others) bold, idealistic, patient, quiet, reflective	Blind Spot (known only to others) able, accepting, adaptable, brave, calm, caring, cheerful, clever, confident, dignified, energetic, friendly, giving, happy, helpful, intelligent, introverted, kind, logical, nervous, religious, searching, self-conscious, sensible, sentimental, shy, silly, spontaneous, sympathetic, trustworthy, warm
Façade (known only to self)	Unknown (known to nobody) complex, dependable, extroverted, independent, ingenious, knowledgeable, loving, mature, modest, observant, organised, powerful, proud, relaxed, responsive, self-assertive, tense, wise, witty

Dominant Traits

61% of people think that wispie is cheerful

All Percentages

able (5%) accepting (11%) adaptable (11%) bold (5%) brave (5%) calm (5%) caring (11%) cheerful (61%) clever (16%) complex (0%) confident (11%) dependable (0%) dignified (5%) energetic (5%) extroverted (0%) friendly (33%) giving (5%) happy (11%) helpful (16%) idealistic (27%) independent (0%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (11%) introverted (11%) kind (11%) knowledgeable (0%) logical (5%) loving (0%) mature (0%) modest (0%) nervous (5%) observant (0%) organised (0%) patient (5%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (11%) reflective (33%) relaxed (0%) religious (33%) responsive (0%) searching (16%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (22%) sensible (5%) sentimental (44%) shy (16%) silly (27%) spontaneous (5%) sympathetic (5%) tense (0%) trustworthy (5%) warm (22%) wise (0%) witty (0%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 21.2.2006, using data from 18 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view wispie's full data.

was blog surfing and came across an entry by shakeyourbooty. she was talking about article that she read on the straits times on kissing, which i found quite interesting as well, so decided to do the same:

excerpt from "A Kiss Is Hardly Just A Kiss", The Straits Times, 15th Feb-

“How did a single act become a medium for so many messages?
There are two possibilities: Either the kiss is a human universal, one of the constellation of innate traits, including language and laughter, that unites us as a species, or it is an invention, like fire or wearing clothes, an idea so good that it was bound to metastasise across the globe.
Scientists have found evidence for both hypotheses. Other species engage in behaviour that looks an awful lot like the smooch (though without its erotic overtones), which implies that kissing might be just as animalistic an impulse as it sometimes feels.
Snails caress each other with their antennae, birds touch beaks and many mammals lick each other's snouts. Chimpanzees even give platonic pecks on the lips. But only humans and our lascivious primate cousins, the bonobos, engage in full-fledged, tongue-on-tongue tonsil-hockey.
Even though all of this might suggest that kissing is in our genes, not all human cultures do it. Charles Darwin was one of the first to point this out. In his book, The Expression Of The Emotions In Man And Animals, he noted that kissing 'is replaced in various parts of the world by the rubbing of noses'.
Early explorers of the Arctic dubbed this the Eskimo kiss although, as it turns out, the Inuit were not merely rubbing noses but were smelling each other's cheeks.
All across Africa, the Pacific and the Americas, we find cultures that did not know about mouth kissing until their first contact with European explorers. And the attraction was not always immediately apparent.
Most considered the act of exchanging saliva revolting. Among the Lapps of northern Finland, both sexes would bathe together in a state of complete nudity, but kissing was regarded as beyond the pale.
To this day, public kissing is still seen as indecent in many parts of the world.
In 1990, the Beijing-based Workers Daily advised its readers that 'the invasive Europeans brought the kissing custom to China, but it is regarded as a vulgar practice which is all too suggestive of cannibalism'.
If kissing is not universal, then someone must have invented it. Vaughn Bryant, an anthropologist at Texas A&M University, has traced the first recorded kiss back to India, somewhere around 1500BC, when early Vedic scriptures started to mention people 'sniffing' with their mouths, and later texts describe lovers 'setting mouth to mouth'. From there, he hypothesises, the kiss spread westward when Alexander the Great conquered the Punjab in 326BC.
The Romans were inveterate kissers and, along with Latin, the kiss became one of their chief exports. Not long after, early Christians invented the notion of the ritualistic 'holy kiss' and incorporated it into the Eucharist ceremony.
According to some cultural historians, it is only within the last 800 years, with the advent of effective dentistry and the triumph over halitosis (the condition of having bad or foul-smelling breath), that the lips were freed to become an erogenous zone.
For Sigmund Freud, the famous 19th-century psychoanalyst, kissing was a subconscious return to suckling at the mother's breast. Other commentators have noted that the lips bear a striking resemblance to the labia, and that women across the world go to great lengths to make their lips look bigger and redder than they really are to simulate the appearance of sexual arousal, like animals in heat.
A few anthropologists have suggested that mouth kissing is a 'relic gesture', with evolutionary origins in the mouth-to-mouth feeding that occurred between mother and baby in an age before baby foods, and that still takes place in a few parts of the world today.
It can hardly be a coincidence, they note, that in several languages the word for kissing is synonymous with pre-mastication, or that 'sweet' is the epithet most commonly applied to kisses.
But kissing may be more closely linked to our sense of smell than taste. Almost everyone has a distinct scent that is all one's own. Some people can even recognise their relatives in a dark room simply by their body odour (some relatives more than others).
Kissing could have begun as a way of sniffing out who's who. From a whiff to a kiss was just a short trip across the face.

Whatever its origins, kissing seems to be advantageous. A study conducted during the 1980s found that men who kiss their wives before leaving for work live longer, get into fewer car accidents and have a higher income than married men who do not.
So put down this newspaper and pucker up. It does a body good.”
-Joshua Foer-

i like the last paragraph most. *wink*

hmmmm i'm eating vanilla icecream with red apple peels (peels of the fruit itself, w/out the skin) now.. yummy! i give it the title of ai4 xin1 tian2 ping3 (dessert of love).. cuz i only get to eat it when my mom prepares it, cant seem to get it anywhere else. heh heh. =D

hey peeps, help me with the johari personality quiz? think its qte fun.. hehe. its a model for mapping personality awareness. By describing yourself from a fixed list of adjectives, then asking your friends and colleagues to describe you from the same list, a grid of overlap and difference can be built up.

click here to get to my johari window. tell me after you have done it k, so that i can go check. hehe. leave a comment here if i'm not on msn.. thx!! =D

meanwhile, the results so far:

Arena (known to self and others) bold, idealistic, quiet, reflective	Blind Spot (known only to others) accepting, adaptable, caring, cheerful, confident, dignified, energetic, friendly, giving, happy, helpful, intelligent, introverted, kind, nervous, religious, searching, self-conscious, sensible, sentimental, shy, silly, spontaneous, warm
Façade (known only to self) patient	Unknown (known to nobody) able, brave, calm, clever, complex, dependable, extroverted, independent, ingenious, knowledgable, logical, loving, mature, modest, observant, organised, powerful, proud, relaxed, responsive, self-assertive, sympathetic, tense, trustworthy, wise, witty

Dominant Traits

60% of people think that wispie is sentimental

All Percentages

able (0%) accepting (10%) adaptable (10%) bold (10%) brave (0%) calm (0%) caring (20%) cheerful (50%) clever (0%) complex (0%) confident (20%) dependable (0%) dignified (10%) energetic (10%) extroverted (0%) friendly (30%) giving (10%) happy (10%) helpful (20%) idealistic (20%) independent (0%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (10%) introverted (10%) kind (10%) knowledgable (0%) logical (0%) loving (0%) mature (0%) modest (0%) nervous (10%) observant (0%) organised (0%) patient (0%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (10%) reflective (30%) relaxed (0%) religious (30%) responsive (0%) searching (10%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (30%) sensible (10%) sentimental (60%) shy (30%) silly (20%) spontaneous (10%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (0%) warm (20%) wise (0%) witty (0%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 16.2.2006, using data from 10 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view wispie's full data.

it is amazing how some people can go to such lengths to please others, but yet their efforts go unnoticed..

my forehead is still plagued with pimples.....

i am still plagued with the stress of fyp....

i am still bothered by dumb guys....

i am still unclear as to wat do to after graduation...

i still like unique colours..

i still take things for granted..



but life.. it is an interesting thing.. if you only know how to appreciate it. heh.

heyoz peeps.. can do me a favor?? help me play a game.. hehe.. its actually my fren's fyp, i'm juz helping her to propagate it to hopefully more respondents.

its actually qte an interesting game.. is super easy too. and you get to win $1500 worth of prizes. ("More than $1500 worth of prizes to be won,
including a Creative Zen Neeon 5GB, an Xbox and fabulous Nivea hampers!") you have to "help" trace Angel, who is apparently a deliquent who's juz run away from home. and you do that by reading the clues provided and from the clues "guess" where angel is and submit ur answers in the form of location and keywords. y do i put "" around the word "guess"? cuz you actually dun have to do tat, cuz the answers are practically given in the clues.. location is given, and the keywords are those underlined words. so there you are, a super easy game. heh heh.

yup.. she needs 2500 respondents.. so when you're free, do help to play k.. hehe.. thanks lots~ =)

help to find angel!

You scored as Dance. You should be a Dance major! Like a lithe ballerina, you dance because you believe there is beauty in expressing the physical form. Dance 83% Linguistics 75% Art 67% Sociology 67% Anthropology 58% Philosophy 58% Theater 50% English 50% Psychology 42% Journalism 25% Engineering 25% Chemistry 25% Mathematics 8% Biology 0% What is your Perfect Major?

hahaha.. note the percentage for engineering...