oh its new year's eve! 2005's gonna be over soon.. how has it been for you? i guess... its always good to do some reflection.. so go ahead.. you have 10 min to do. haha..





well. for me..eh. i dun think i grew much. physically (my weight has been hovering at 39-40 since forever) and hmmm mebbe mentally as well.. ok lar sure got some growth but its slow loh.. no big jump tat kind of thing. i learnt more about myself, definitely.. learnt more about my frens, learnt more about the options in life available to me.

and as for achievements, academic wise, altho i still havent gotten good grades, i finally cleared everything in one sem again as mentioned in one of my prev posts. hobby wise, i also finally got a trophy..

relationships wise.. well. was kinda entangled in a not so good one, which i shortly got out of again, heh. subsequently met new frens.. and sad to say i htink i hurt one of them deeply. as for old frens, drifted apart from some of them, but also got to noe some other frens better. hmmm ok.. me beign the greedy person tat i am, i will try to catch back the old ones. at least, i'll try within my capabilities.. i cant really change my fren's working hours. heh.

and.. i also think i got closer to Him.. juz a bit closer.. but.. im happy enough =) my growth is slow, but steady ma.

as for beauty wise. dark circles got darker!!!! sobz. i have implemented a beauty project (htink i mentinoed in this blog before) which is to slp early, but i only managed to abide by it for like 1 week. haiz. and i think i wont buy olay's facial foam again.. it gave me pimples on my forehead! bioessence is not bad..galenic is also ok.. but i think they're not suitable for oily skin.

hmmmm ok.. i htink tats all the reflection i've got to do on 2005 for today.. mebbe wil add when i have more.


hmmm i wonder how my birthday will be like this year.. come to think of it, its been one year since my last bday.. so fast.. i can still rem taht day. hmmm.

i suspect the seat in front of my comp has got a magnet hwich attracts the human butt hidden inside the cushions. cuz i dun think my butt is tat heavy.. i'm only 40 kg..

awwwwww........ =p

as we get to know more of a person, we can either find more joy in him, or find him less attractive. i guess this is the way of life, but then, i still find it a pity when i realise certain hopes are never gonna be realised becuz of the changed impression. and sometimes when this happens, i wld just wish that my impression of him wld stay the way it was before everyhting happened.



*this entry is a general observation of myself and not referrign to any particular person or event.

my results were out today. finally, after 4 sems since yr 1 sem 2, i passed all my subjects. this shld be great news, especially since i really expected to fail about 5 out of 7 subjects. however, this is not the case. i am feelign qte sian now actually, about my results.

y is this so leh?

firstly, my grades are below average. the average results, for the average mae student, is 1 or 2 A, qte a few Bs, 1 or 2 Cs. but for me, its a 1 B, 4 Cs, 2 Ds.

secondly, recently i have begun to have some interest in working as an industrial designer (for the uninitiated, it means someone who designs products, industrial and otherwise). i know i cant depend on my overall results to get the job i want, as my uni grades are really quite terrible. i was hoping instead to use my industrial design module to appeal to my prospective employers. thus i have begun to shift my focus from completing my studies within 4 years, to attaining an impressive grade for my industrial design module. however, i got D(+) for my industrial design module. tell me, which company wld hire someone with D(+) for industrial design as an industrial designer???

so ok, i tell myself, its alright, mebbe i'll get a masters in industrial design, and get some decent grades from there (i believe i got D+ not cuz of my designing incapabilities, but more of my inability to manage my time. this is becuz i only had time to do half my ID paper, and i'm qte confident that if only the half tat i did was examinable, i'd have scored at least a B). however, given my present grades, i wont have even the basic requirements to enter the masters course. sighz.

ya. so basically the reason y i'm unhappy despite passing every subject (and thus ensuring that i need not squeeze more subjects into my final sem) is cuz 1. my grades are below average 2. my dream of being an industrial designer is almostly certainly squashed.

there's actually more to point 1 than juz a below avg grade. wat i'm saying is, its not so bad if i were in my first sem of uni. if tats the case, i can encourage myself by saying tat i'm juz not accustomed to uni life, and i can bounce back to being in the top 20% of the cohort next sem. however, the truth is, this is already my 2nd last sem in uni. 3.5 years, and i still havent mastered teh art of doing well in uni. i'm not even the average. i'm in fact BELOW average, in terms of grades. and come to htink of it, mebbe everything else. heh.

ok, you may say, grades is not everythign. but to those who dun really intend to start their own business, it matters qte a bit. bleah...

ok lar mebbe i was juz being pessimistic. mebbe there are other good things about my results, juz tat i focus more on the bad ones. mebbe i shld try finding more positive aspects of my results, and focus my tots more on them.

and actually anw so wat if nothing good (except tat i passed everyhting) can be said about my results? as my msn nick says "there are many regrets in life. wat matters is how we deal with them" the important thing now is not to fault anyone or lament the unfavourable circumstance, for afterall everyhting is past and there's no use crying over spilt milk. wats important now, following the analogy of the spilt milk, is to find a mop and mop the floor clean. and now, in the case of my disappointing results, is to figure out wat to do next.

so i guess.. there's nothing i can do but to learn from my mistakes loh.. and hope to make the best of next sem.

the first thing i muz learn is to re-acquire, and perform all my exam techniques. ok i never really did adhere strictly to the rules that muz be adhered to before you can be qualified to be exam smart (eg limiting urself to spending only the allocated time on each question and nothing more, doing the questions which you feel more comfortable first, etc etc) but after i came to uni, it was worse. for eg, instead of exceeding the allocated time by 5 mins, now im' exceeding by 15. and instead of attempting every question even when you're not sure of the answer (so that if it turns out correct you get some marks), i'll juz leave the question blank. how silly can tat be.

and the 2nd thing i muz learn is.. oops i havnet figured out wat other things i muz learn. heh.

ehhh. i think i'll let myself come up with the answer slowly.. i usually take my time to generate ideas.. mei2 ban4 fa3, i am tat slow a worker. heh.

its late.. i shld be putting in more effort in my beauty project. which is to slp early so i can get rid of my eye circles.. haha.

nitez everyone! wishing everyone a happy day tmr~

i'm looking forward to tomorrow.. (or rather, later) i pray that it'll be good.

anw, somehow i realise recently i can tolerate less and less of dumb guys.

i mean, not to say i'm smart or wat, but somethings are obvious wat. like if my msn nick says "exams ended, but with a pffffffttttttt...", it means i juz ended my exams on a not so wonderful note right? need you go and rub it in by saying "hey, so you very happy now right? exams over liao". im' like.. speechless... and really irritated. (wanted to say d*mn irritated but decided not to be so vulgar on my blog)

and its not as if its juz once.. i dun understand y.. but this guy often irritates me with his constant inability to understand the situation i am in altho it wld have been pretty obvious to me. besides the above eg, he wld also ask me out very often despite me telling him (many times) tat i was busy with projects and so cannot afford to come out to town for entertainment. i was so busy tat everytime i got home from school it'd be 12am. and even after my projects were done, he cldnt understand tat i was really pressed for time to study for the exams. again, he kept on asking me out, as if i only needed to take 2 papers which wld last only 3 days (incidently, tat kind of "luxury" is only for the masters students, heh), when in actual fact, i had to deal with 7 papers spread out over 12 days, the last 3 papers compressed into 2 days.

its like, i already have a lot of difficulty handling my workload, can you dun add on to my troubles by giving me all these irritation??? goodness.

ok sorry guys, i think this is the 2nd time some of you are hearing this, if so juz bear w me ya. heh and ya i noe the egs i raised up are the same but really i cldnt be bothered to go and rem other more irritating incidents liao.


hmmmm ok i think i shld be less harsh. for after all, wat goes ard comes ard. ehh. ok i guess i shld be more understanding. ok me and this guy are of different frequency tats all. then i cannot fault him liao. shrug. ehh but i htink i really need more grace to be able to tolerate him...

Father, please forgive me for my sins.. take away my anger, fill me with wisdom and love..so tat i may love my neighbours, like You love me. in the name of Jesus Christ i pray, amen.