oh i realise i juz passed the first anniversary of my first foray into blogging a few days ago.. heh

i htink im' really contradictory.. i want to forget everything, so that i wont be hurt by the painful memories, so that i wont miss the sweet ones.



but i juz can't bear to relinquish everything...........

i juz came back from my sis's third wedding gown fitting. its at the wedding present, a bridal salon at outram park. in line with the creative capabilities of its owners, the place was elegantly furnished.. with ivory carpeting and soft lighting. i actually took pictures of the place and of cuz, my sis but too bad i dun have any means of uploading stuff from my phone yet.. so cant show you all the pics..

anw apparently her custom made gown is kinda popular with the other brides at the place. cuz they saw her gown on display on teh mannequin and qte alot of them requested to try it on.. looks like my sis has good taste eh but actually i tot it was qte plain.. oops then im' saying tat i got no taste isnt it. hmm but mebbe its cuz the sparkles were not on it yet. hmm mebbe when i can i'll upload the pics.. then you all can see whether i really have no taste liao.. hahaha..

hmm ya i'm looking forward to the IT fair on 10th march.. haha no i'm not a IT junkie. juz tat i'm looking forward to uploading my pics to the comp via infrared or bluetooth. took qte a few pics actually.. and i realised its not true tat i dun enjoy taking photos. i used to wonder how come everyone in the world is into photography..but now i htink i'm catching the bug too.. haha

but dun think i'll do much about my new found interest la.. cuz it seems like there's a lot of things to learn about photography.. like lighting, focus, usage of gradient filters (no i dunno wats tat).. and almost definitely more stuff tat i dun even noe exists. and not to mention i dunno how to use photoshop, which enhances the enjoyment of taking pics significantly..ya.. dun htink i've got the time or patience to go read up on photoshop or techniques of phototaking.. so i guess my interest will juz remain in taking lousy shots with my lousy resolution camera in my (not so lousy) SE phone.

i dun think my mood swings are permanently gone yet.. i htink its still some time before i get back to really normal.. time heals all wounds, i guess i juz have to wait...

wow its 2 am liao.. have been ages since i last slept so late.. nowadays i sleep latest 1 am. but i wake up at 6 so i'm still not getting enough slp..

hmm and i'm waking up at 8am tmr even tho its a sunday cuz i'm bringing a fren down to teh english service at my church, which starts at 9am. *groan* i usually go to the chinese service which starts at 11am.. which means i can wake up at 10am. but its for a good cause so i dun really mind waking up 2 hours earlier.

guess i really shld be in bed and dreaming liao.. hmmmm i wonder wat i'll dream of later.

oh well. nitez!! sweetest dreams to all of you~

oh and guess i need to rem this: muscle tears dun happen with proper training....

oh btw, i have no idea why.. but 24th february is juz such a nice date to me. it juz seems romantic to me.. even more romantic than 14th feb. heh. but i truly have no idea why.. its not a significant date to me so far..the only guess that i can hazard is cuz the combination of 24th and february juz gives a romantic feel to me ba. heh mebbe i'll get married on 24th feb next time.

i feel like i have to brush cobwebs away before i can blog nowadays.. cuz i hardly touch it liao.. heh..

mebbe its not really a good idea for me to blog when i dun feel too good huh. i dun wanna come across as complain queen leh. cuz no one likes complain queens..

anw i told my dance instructor tat i wanna go back into competitive dancing. i think i'm crazy!!!!! how am i gonna manage when my final year starts next sem?????
plus, i fear for my emotional health.. i hope i stay healthy.

heh i'm really regretting this really impulsive rash and on the spot decision liao. besides the health of my studies and emotions, i fear for my financial health too.. cuz i've always wanted to have private coaching which costs about $140 per person per month. lately i feel the need to SAVE SAVE and SAVE so not taaaat keen on private lessons now. but dunno how my progress will be w/out lessons leh. if progress is not good, then i'll be very stressed.. hmm.

i think i'm not helping myself. in fact, i htink i'm being very mean to myself. i need to love myself more.. but how?? i feel like crying. mebbe it'll help htings.. mebbe it wont..like the last few times. i feel so lost. mebbe i shld juz leave it.

hmmm havent been feeling too well lately.. neither physically nor emotionally..

physical wise, i was actually sick during the cny break. but miraclously, even tho i cldn't resist the temptation to munch on the new year goodies, i recovered by the end of the break. but! 1 week later i fell ill again. wasnt plagued by cough and sorethroat like last time, but now the flu is bad enough. usually i'll recover from my flu on the 2nd day tat i fell sick, but now 2nd day was still jialat. so i went to see a doc (for free!!) and got an MC.. and it was on a friday so effectively i have a longer wkend!!! hahaa...

anw ya i got saw a doc for free yest!! haha czu i went to the heeren branch of gethin-jones medical clinic (which was under ntu's medical scheme) and din get any medicine cuz i still had some supply from the last consultation. haha cheap thrill.. but still..

and as for emotional.. well i've been feeling slightly lonely and sad nowadays. and sometimes when i think back.. but well who cares?? it doesn't matter anw.

its really kinda tiring to try to keep htinking on the positive side al the time. especially when you can't even see a glimmer in the tunnel.

hmmm but i've survived until now.. i guess.. its all cuz of His grace.. yes i believe.. i believe in this: "...it was then that I was carrying you." which is the last line of an inspirational poem written by an unknown author, named "Footprints in the Sand".

Father, i thank You for the wisdom, strength and joy You've given me to get through the bad times, i pray that You'll continue to provide me with what i need. In Jesus's name i pray, amen.

i bought a new phone!!! its SE K700i. i think its named Kyocera too. nice name.. haha.

its a nice phone!! at first look it looks really masculine.. was something which made me hesitate to buy this phone actually. but after i bought it, i discovered its not so bad after all.. cuz the purple and pink back light made it not so masculine..:D

and true to wat pp say, the phone has got ALOT of features, all at such a cheap price!!! even w/out trade in, it costs only $268..and so far i havent heard of anyone complaining tat SE phones hang or spoil easily.. so i doubt the cheap price comes becuz of its poor quality. hmm well i hope not.

so far (meaning for the 30min tat i was playing with it) the only bad point about it is the keypad.. its kinda hard, not easy to press. thus the general speed of the phone is decreased..this is one big disadvantage compared to my nokia 6610. altho the 6610 keypad malfunctioned for not a few times, when it was good, it really was good. i cld literally slide over the buttons when msging.

sighz, actually din really bear to let go of my nokia 6610 phone.. no i'm not a nokia fan, juz tat this phone was with me through some significant ups and downs of my life.. it may seem absurd, but certain wall papers, ringtones and even my phone accessory hold some memories for me..
and no, even if i transfer all the pics and tones over to my new phone, and hang the same accessory on the new phone (which are not possible), its not gonna be the same. not at all..
i guess, deep down, i'm still not tat ready to let go...

but sighz wats the use of being emotional? there's no point at all..

eh wanted to slp at 12 but its 1am now. sighz i bet i'm gg to regret big time in teh morning later. bleah

wat does it mean when you see a spider on teh 2nd day of lunar new year and what will happen if you kill it???