music of the moment: A Day Without Rain

hmmz was qte affected by teh nicoll highway collapse.. (altho i live near it but tats not wat i meant)
previously i have known all along that death is a very painful thing.. to the family members, at least.. but knowing.. and feeling is very different.. i dunno y.. but its only now that i feel the pain and the shock (and of cuz its not even like 0.05 of the pain tat the family members are suffering)
and i realise how easy one can be drawn away from Him in times like these.. you'll question why.. and you'll find it difficult to trust Him when your life is turned topsy turvy..
but i juz pray tat when its my turn, i'l be like Job and the catholic family of one of the victims in teh collapse.. when they were in dire straits, instead of turnign away, they still trust God, and they still looked toward him.. and they saw His glory..

anw i fell sick yest..... amidst the exams! =( luckily i doused myself with cooling tea.. ate vit c and some medicine too.. so now i'm recovering...... think shld be bout halfway to full recovery liao.. heh

music of the moment: Love Divine, All Loves Excelling

right now i'm in the midst of my exams.. 2 papers are down, now 5 more to go.. sighz.. tats how heavy an eng student's workload is.. no, not "eng" as in hokkien for nothing to do, but "eng" as in short form for engineering... wat a paradox.. haha

hmmz was studying for one subjs earlier on.. progress was fine (i actually studied alot faster recently), but some stoopidly hard to rem formulae spoilt everything. so i spent like 30min juz to study tat one slide, which is 30 times longer than it shld be. arrgh. and after the strenous effort of memorising those 4 formulae, i felt so tired but i juz forced myself to take a look at the next slide. and lo and behold!, there appears another complicated formula...........so now you noe y i'm here....

actually for this sem only 4 out of 8 of the subjects i'm taking requires alot of my attention.. so i should score higher grades this sem.. but cuz i was kinda slow in startign teh preparations.. i think i should be back in square one... sighz..... but i still hope tat i can score better this sem.. until the day of teh release of results and thye really prove otherwise...

heeez.. havent blogged for wow more than one week! hmmz.. actually i've been checkign on the blog la.. so not to say i've been neglectign it.. heh..

*to be continued*

music of the moment: Love Divine, All Loves Excelling


=> banner found in one of the msg boards at ivillage.

interesting banner... hehehehee... many women feel they'd be better off being guys, but this gives us inspiration to think bout our blessings! =D

ok i shld get gg for church now..


ps. ivillage is a site i go to occasionally.. they've got interesting tips for all the women stuff (jobs, health, shopping etc)..i surf their rships and makeup sites and also their forums :)

music of the moment: Love Divine, All Loves Excelling

oohh...changed a few of the songs.. din change some of them cuz cldn't bear to..hmmz..anw.. No Me Digas Por Favor is a song which i danced to qte frequently last time.. a while back i'd miss those times qte alot.. but recently i discovered tat somethings dun really matter to me anymore.. and i've let go of some stuffs.. is it a pity? i dunno..

wah.. juz 6 days left to exams! how how.. havent finished revision.. not even halfway through! dunno y but i take super long to finish one online lecture..
i mean i havent been really doing other things too.. at most like 15min break every erm 15 min? oh wait i tink i noe y i take so long liao.. haha...

hmmz finding it hard to concentrate nowadays.. every little while i'll get restless.. i mean last time i used to be able to study at least 45 min at a stretch..

i wonder if it is cuz of my terrible lifestyle nowadays... i can't rem the last time tat i slept at 12 plus...... terrible terrible.... i mean.. as xj says.. its not a requirement anymore.. but a habit! and a TERRIBLY BAD habit at tat.. sighz.. it takes years to form a good habit but days.. or even moments .. to destroy it.. as the saying goes: bai3 nian2 shu4 ren2... guess i juz have to keep on trying.. juz like i have to keep on trying to be punctual.......

but i think its more of a matter of my mentality.. like everynight at 12 midnight i'd feel like the night has juz started??? i mean how ridiculous can this be...........

anw was talking to E juz now.. online.. seems like he has this habit of not asking pple for help.. juz like Re.. i admit i'm juz the opp.. finding help whenever i run into trouble and i guess some pple find me a nuisance cuz of it =p yeah i noe i shld be more independent and cause less trouble for everyone.. and i'm trying to be less dependent on people now.. and i think i'm improving ald k..
anw tats not the main pt.. the pt is.. i think altho its good to be independent, but i think its qte ptless to insist on trying to solve probs by myself everytime *hmmz i tink its the best adj i can use for this at this pt in time.. can't think of better ones.*.. as in, i believe in the saying tat no man is an island, and tat we are limited in some ways or other.. and i believe the world is not such a cold place after all..
so. in other words, i think by insisting on not asking for help everytime.. its like being so myopic.. like you're unaware of/denying your own limitations, you're unaware of/denying the sincere desire of your frens to lend you a helping hand.. or you juz dun give trust to them.. you dun trust tat they love and care for you, such tat they dun mind sacrificing *at least* a bit of their time/efforts etc... then.. wats the point of calling them your frens?? for i think frens are pple who give mutual care and support.. its ideally both ways.. if its juz one way.. then i htink the frenship wont b as strong..

hmm this is juz my impromptu take.. mebbe i'll refine it some other day..
late le.. better go slp before i start going back to thinking tat 4am is still not so late.. heh..

music of the moment: Love Divine, All Loves Excelling *

half of s'pore juz experienced a power trip (as claimed by someone but i believe otherwise as explained in teh following sentence).. chua chu kang, boonlay and jurong east were the known struck areas..

was watching online lecs when the connection was stopped.. so decided to go slp earlier today..

hmmz nowadays like to listen to jazz blues.. influenced by shao.. was he who got me more interested in jazz music nowadays.. previously only liked to listen to them as and when i hear them.. wont really go d/l but i'll enjoy them when im in lounges or places tat play them.. but yest i d/led qte a few jazz songs.. my current favs are norah jones's sunrise and dont know why (recommended by R).. plus quizas quizas quizas, a different version of perhaps perhaps perhaps =) a pity dun have them in wma format.. otherwise can post here ald.. =|

music of the moment: Love Divine, All Loves Excelling *

watched passion today..really gory........ its really action all the way from start to end...... heh. hmmz its true tat the movie doenst really tell much bout the plot.. afterall its juz hte last 24 hours before the cruxification.. juz a descriptive pc i guess...
actually i wonder if my heart is made of stone... i wasn't TAT touched as other pple.. but well christianity isn't so much juz bout emotions..

wah i've been gg out on sat, sun and mon........ sat was cuz ate lunch in ps so juz walked ard hwich i've mentioned in my hte prev entry ald... sun was cuz wanted to watch gospel but tics were sold out in teh end (we got there 45 min early loh..).. hten today passion loh..

anw yest went to this jap rest which i htink is v good! almost went to my fav cafe.. but this wsn't any loss at all..
its at citylink.. teh one at the corner when you go up teh escalator from U2.. serving is good.. food is good.. service is not bad...... and hte set only costs 16.. ya its not v cheap but not v ex also considering serving, quality and service.......... heez... ya another recommendation from me..

*drowsy*

music of the moment: AnOtheR number in Love Actually OST *luurrve that sound track =D*

oh plus.. the weather nowadays is soooooooooooooooooooo scorching! not hot.. its scorching.. i mean usually when pple feel hot.. i dun one loh.. but now i do! tats how bad it is.. i'm sure all of you all will agree.........i felt so heated up.. almost tot i had a fever juz now k..its like i cld feel heat inside my body loh.. not juz the heat outside.. but when i measured my temp.. its only 36.5.. then resorted to drinking lots and lots of cold water to reduce the feeling of heat.. still rem how hot the bus felt on teh way home from ps.. aircon wasn't realy working.. think it lost the fight against the heat.. doens't help tat it was like very crowded.. yeah you get the pt huh..

music of the moment: AnOtheR number in Love Actually OST *luurrve that sound track =D*

eh.. wat a long blog tat was.. =p

music of the moment: AnOtheR number in Love Actually OST *luurrve that sound track =D*

hehe.. getting lazier and lazier to blog nowadays.......... oh well. but also dun want this place to die lehz =p

hmmz had a slightly more colourful day today..
well not tat its really TAT colourful.. but juz tat nowadays my days seem to be mostly of variable shades of grey.. so any colour wld seem qte significant.. haha
hmmz i'd describe today's colours as baby pastel.. jade green, ivory and pinkish orange.. all under a white gauze..
guess its due to the jalan tat i had with shao.. went to ps w him, then juz walked ard.. heh mebbe cuz i havent been shopping for long.. hmmz lets see.. the last time i went shopping was..........oh actually not too long ago.. haha.. but it was juz a short while.. and i was alone.. shopped for some necessary stuff la..

hmmz anw at the end of our jalan we caught a bit of some show tat channel U was putting up.. and we saw a la4 mei4! really v hot and spicy manz..
i cld see she was stirring up the loins of like 90% of teh guys who were crowding round the stage..
she was like wearing a short tube which only covered her, erm, chest, and a peasant skirt (i htink tats wat its called) such tat alot of her body was exposed and she was moving her hips in a very enticing fashion.. to the rythm of steph sun's song.. which she was singing.. we both think tat its sthg like channel u's version of AMI. heh
anw the point is, was qte disgusted w the way she dressed.. i mean sexy ya..really sexy esp w the hip movements but as i said to shao, lacking in taste.. she looks qte cheapo..
and also disgusted with all the guys crowding round..............nothing more needs to be said i guess................

then after tat.. came home.. had a short chat w my mum.. then relaxed abit.. i really liked the feeling of home versus hall!!! i think for one its more spacious.. 2nd it has my piano.. 3rd its got comfy sofas.. 4th the bed is double the size cuz my sis and my beds are joined tog.. its got a great view since its on 21st storey.. easy access to town.. yepz. like living at home.. esp now tat my grandpa no longer smokes (at least not in my hm).. yepz he claims tat he's quit.. hooray! no more stinky cigarette smell anymore.. heh. qte pei4 fu2 him actually.. he's been smoking since forever.. so i guess its all the more harder for him to quit.. i wonder how he did it.. but well.. he did it =D

and i finally finished my probability notes! altho its juz a teeny bit of achievement cuz basically its juz A level stuff, and actually i'm lagging behind by one and a half day, but well at least i finished one part.. was kinda cheered by this..

my day wld have ended on a nice note if i had not been kaypoh enough to ask after a fren who was in a bad mood. ended up i worsened his day.. cuz we quarreled over some really minor minor stuff.. but well. its typical.. mebbe i hsld have gotten used to it by now.. this fren of mine.. i was really qte emotionally involved w him.. we'd quarrel over alot of minor stuff...even till now.. oh well..

oh ya plus i bombed my presentation today!!!qte alot of negative comments from the tutor.. but she was really nice bout it.. like trying to be understanding.. and pointing out my gd points which were qte minor actually.. sighz. but well. nvm.. at least its over.. yepz hooray, now i've got nohting more (at least, nothign academic =p) to distract me from studying for my exams..=)

anw think wanted to change the music.. but i guess.. its a bit late liao and it takes a bit time.. so i guess i'll do it some other day..
cuz its easter tmr.. and i'd want to catch the service.. missed qte alot.. even missed the service in expo for good fri!!! felt so guilty.. juz cuz i was too lazy to get up........ SIGHZ... depraved...

music of the moment: AnOtheR number in Love Actually OST *luurrve that sound track =D*



saw this cute pic on the internet somewhere..reminds me of the days when i kept hamsters. my hamsters were as cute as these two, but well i guess all hamsters are as cute. =p hmmz a pity tat they died early.. i think they died due to psychological stress.. =|

(oh think the white one is a pudding.. as in, the breed..cute names for breeds of hamsters eh? hehe)

music of the moment: AnOtheR number in Love Actually OST *luurrve that sound track =D*


when i still havent permed my hair...
oh and the pic in hte RHS bar links to my photo album.. guess will upload more photos in time to come *wink*

music of the moment: AnOtheR number in Love Actually OST *luurrve that sound track =D*

oh yay i managed to hit the publish button before i cld chicken out. haha

anw have really learnt to treasure frens these few months..really touched by frens' sacrficices, to help me in one way or another... also dunno wat i can do in return.. =|

gosh think i'm getting too serious and too emotional liao. hmmzzz.
watever.

so late ald. i htink i'll juz slp.. wont study anymore.. if i study more, i'll slp less and possibly end up with a blank mind when i attempt the quiz tmr. if i dun study, well i guess i'll end up witha blank mind too. so whether i study or not i'll end up with a blank mind. might as well go slp now and not waste time resting. after all its mcq. i've got 25% chance of getting it correct anw. haha.

music of the moment: AnOtheR number in Love Actually OST *luurrve that sound track =D*

hihi i'm back..been a few days w/out blogging liao eh..

think i sorta forgot my motivation tat caused me to start a blogging website..... tats y havent been really blogging.. and also cuz been bz with work..but i realised that's not an excuse not to blog, cuz i'll ALWAYS be busy. so if i only blog when i'm not busy, i htink i'll never blog. heh. so here goes.

anw speaking of motivation to start this blog, shall juz them share with everyone. If i havent mentioned before, or if you havent already realised, i started blogging cuz
1. wanted to keep in touch with frens, so tat all of you who are interested to may noe wats gg on in my life since i dun get to see all of you everyday :(
2. to let all of my frens noe more about me, wat i think, wat i like
3. to let me understand myself more ie to find myself as expressed at the top of the rhs bar, and to find out wat my perspectives are ie to grow(sounds narcissistic eh? :p)
4. to improve my communication skills which i think i'm really lacking in

yeah those are my motivation to start blogging.. but i realised after i started to blog, wat made me keep coming back to blog is not so much of all the above anymore.. rather i come back cuz of my success in tweaking with the template of the blog despite the lack of knowledge and experience of the prog lang. kinda proud of it and so wanted to achieve more.. tweaking more stuff.. so i come back only because i have, in hyperscorpic's words, become a "script kiddie". *btw he has a brand new website up. interesting.. worth one, if not many visits. check out the perspectives..its (delicious) food for tot :)*

but now that my enthusiasm for scripts has waned a little, i've come back to thinking bout my original reasons for blogging.. and i realised, yeah i havent been writing much bout my tots nowadays... and tat kinda defeats the purpose of setting up a blog right??????

anw sometimes there are events/things which i can blog about but i dun. i realise its cuz they're things which i dun really want to think about. things tat make me unhappy.. and coincidently qte a few of them are related to dsa. heh. dsa.. really problematic.. at least for my batch.. heh. anw back to my pt.. tat i think i'm an escapist?? heh.. have done tat qte a lot of times. think its kinda bad leh... think i'll think bout being an escapist some other time..haha.

i'm constantly escaping from a lot of stuff. besides escaping from thinking whether i shld continue escaping, i'm also escaping from studyign for my test which is gg to start in 5 hrs time, 3 of which will be spent slping if i go to bed now.

i realise i'm taking a risk by writing all this down. but well. i'm honest with myself and with the whole world. dun like to be a hypocrite. and i try not to deceive myself. i was ald prepared to take this risk right from the moment i started an account with blogger anw. so there.

think i should really think bout how i can stop escaping.. but there seems to be no time.. hmmz think i noe how come i keep escaping liao..

this post is really terrible. mebbe i'll delete it after some time. mebbe i wont, like all the other posts which i tot bout deleting but din in the end. oh well. htink i'll juz continue taking the risk ba.

hmmz htink the reason y this post is so terrible is partly cuz of my general mood nowadays and partly cuz of hte time i'm writing this. therefore not in the usual frame of mind, whether right or not. heh.

...........

music of the moment: AnOtheR number in Love Actually OST *luurrve that sound track =D*

music of the moment: AnOtheR number in Love Actually OST *luurrve that sound track =D*

juz now went to read a fren's webbie.. brought back some memories.......caused a slight heartache..

realised that all of us have changed.. the rships between me and my close frens have changed too.. i miss the late night talks that me and ex-rmie used to share, and the daily concern from a fren whom i seldom talk to now..

have drifted from so many a fren....... either due to our busy schedules.. or cuz of other regretful factors.....

there will be many pple in your life, but who makes an impact? who's there to pick you up when you fall, who's there to encourage you and help you see further?? who's there to help you grow, who's there to accept all the flaws in you? and who's there to love you? For they are God's blessings to all of us..

Frens..i have learnt to treasure them, but have not learnt to stop them from drifting..and tats possibly the greatest pity in frenships..

music of the moment: AnOtheR number in Love Actually OST *luurrve that sound track =D*

heez yeah i've added alot of music to this page! besides the background music you can see alot of new links on the rhs bar! but ok its a bit stupid cuz only ntu students can access the music.. and even then you may have to wait for qte a while after logging in before you can hear the music..

hmmz really paiseh to restrict listening of music to only ntu students.. not tat i'm biaised k.. juz tat i stored the music in the webspace that ntu gives us.. and which only ntu students can access..and its the only hting i can think of to put music on my site w/out paying a fee everymonth for webspace....

so anw, the music on the rhs bar are all my favs at one point or another in my life.. some of the songs are really simple.. and may not b attractive at all in the first listening.. but listen carefully, and you will realise the lyrics, or even juz the arrangement of the songs (arrangement meaning the assignment of instruments) makes teh music worth listening to.. "absence of fear" is one v good eg.. it was my absolute fav at one pt in time.. its a quiet but highly emotional piece of music..or shld i say it is through the quietness of the song tat one can feel the deep, abiding love.. *hmmz sounds familiar eh?? =p* hmmz you go listen then you noe la huh (oops paiseh to all non-ntu students again!) anw will be changing the songs regularly to include other of my favs too =)

hmmz update on my iife.. yest was april fool's thank gdness din kenna any major silly prank by frens.. only got 1 sms from a long time platonic fren who pretended to have a crush on me.. heh.. din really fall for it tho =p

hmm and its leslie's death annivesary..time passes so fast! feels like juz last sem that he passed away. anw to all the lesli fans out there: take heart! his music lives forever (too bad i'm not a fan so no chances to hear his music here =p)

sighz exams coming soon but all my study time has been taken up by assignments and presentations lately. hope i can catch up in time...

*yawn* getting slpy.. think i'll retire