ok....to everyone who's been reading my blog..i juz wanna clarify.. tat the post "no sex" was not written by me, but by some other gal i happened to chance upon the net. which means, i dun necessarily agree with what she said about not blaming the guy for being pissed off w his wife juz cuz she's not having sex w him. following the blog post are some of the comments posted to TAT blog, which i think are worth noting.. and following the comments are some of the lessons tat i learn from all the comments..lemme post my tots below again, in case some of you are so disgusted by the earlier part of the post tat you dun bother to read to the end.


lessons tat i learnt:

1. post partum depression can make moms resistant to sex
2. post partum depression can result from work overload yet little recognition for the workload.
3. to men, sex is an expression of love, juz like how communication is to women.
4. that is why men feel unloved when their wife refuse to have sex with them, and tend to find sex outside of marriage when it happens.
5. hence, sex is one of the (many) important factors for a successful marriage.
6. however, although sex is a means of expression of love, juz as important as communication, it is not the be all and end all of intimacy between man and wife. Intimacy can be, and shld be, achieved by many other means.
7. also, sex is juz a subset of marriage. There are many things to marriage besides sex, marriage is a convenant to love, no matter wat happens.
8. (hmmm can I then say that sex is a subset of intimacy, which is a subset of marriage??)
9. verdict: as with all other conflicts, both parties have to be understanding towards each other and work together to maintain the good relationship. In this case, the wife has to understand the husband needs sex to feel loved, otherwise the husband might stray, the husband needs to understand tat if the wife does not want sex, it is becuz she is really bogged down by the fatigue of looking after the newborn child ALL DAY, and/or tat she is depressed and hence not in the mood for sex.
10. hence, wat the husband needs to do, is to alleviate her duress by helping her with the chores, and making her feel loved by romancing her, by assuring her with respect to any doubts tat she might have, including but not limited to doubts about her attractiveness.
11. and wat the wife needs to do, is to well, enjoy and delight in the intimacy tat sex brings to the marriage, and not see it as a chore.



and sorry if i have disgusted you by the many times i throw the word "sex" ard, but really, isnt it sthg natural, even sacred between a MARRIED couple? juz cuz it has been abused by so many ignorant teenagers, and single pp who have no reservations about sleeping around, it doesnt deserve to be robbed of its purity and sacredness as the ultimate expression of love between a man and his wife. sex is meant to be exclusive, sacred, wonderful. it is not meant to be abused, taboo nor shameful.

another point, i dunno if you have noticed, but i'm definitely not promoting sex as the ONLY way to have a successful marriage. note points 6, 7, and 8 in the paragraph above.


so there. hope this post clears all misunderstanding.. haiz. so many feathers ruffled for nothing.