actually i've got other things to do now la (hmm like look at some dance clips, visit frenster) juz tat sometimes my usually missing sense of responsibility decides to make an appearance. you ask "wat has having a sense of responsibility got to do with blogging???" well, thing is, i set up a blog, and (i suspect) this has attracted some readers out there who's not very interested in looking at the same entry everytime they visit this site.
anwz, i shall juz get to the primary purpose of this site ie to do updates on the life of yours truly. think i'll do it in reverse chronological order, its easier this way. heh.
firstly i'm feeling dizzy right now. most probably its not due to the tremors of an earthquake, but i ca'nt help but wonder if wat i'm experiencing is the 2nd round of tremors resulting from teh 8.6 earthquake off sumatra which occured yesterday night. hmmm think the more probable explanation of my dizzy spell is that I am suffering a post-trauma experience of wat happened last night. ie my flat swaying to and fro (i stay on 21st storey fyi). k la i wasnt really trauma-traumatised, but juz tat the feelings of unstable ground refuses to go away completely. oh manz i hope this stops soon.. its not really a nice feeling.. in fact it makes me scared. hmmm mebbe i WAS traumatised after all.. though subtly.
eh then wont i get an even worse post trauma experience when a more serious earthquake happens?? actually my sis and dad experienced earthquake tremors a few years ago too, and they said it was worse than the ones we experienced yesterday night. they said it was so bad that the water in the squatting toilet bowl splashed out.. goodness can't imagine.
ok teh next thing in reverse chronological order is actually something morbid.. i know of 2 deaths within 7 days. tats a really high occurence i think. first was my colleague..she passed away last tues, ie 22nd march. ok la not v close to her but she's juz sittign 2 cubicles away from me loh. i saw her everyday tat kinda thing. then the next day she's not around anymore. i mean, its not juz a long case of mc. its not even resignation. its disappearance from the lives of her family, her frens and all those who know her. and its the cutting short of her dreams, aspirations and hopes..a sudden one at that. oh i havent told you wat happened right. she's actually teh gal who got killed in teh motor accident 2 mths before her scheduled marriage on 17th may..and whose fiance married her posthumously.. her story got published in monday's The Newpaper and on the 2nd page of the Home edition of ST last sat or thurs i forgot.
and the 2nd death is taht of teh grandma of one of my christian brothers, she passed away on 27th mar. she's actually been suffering for qte long, think seh'got diagnosed with cancer like 2 years ago.. but as her grandson said, her will power is really strong.. cuz seems like she waited till all her grand children (except the grandson that i know) got married before she died. and she waited for like 2 years loh. i think in a way its a relief for her, from her suffering..
ya.. i realise i have been taking life for granted..i naturally set plans for myself, and i almost never htink that i'll die before i get to them. but of cuz, i know that God has His plans.. and we can never be sure of what He plans to happen tomorrow.. who knows, tomorrow i may juz return to Him. i mean of cuz i'm still scared when i htink about this possibility. cuz im' still not ready to let go of my life, of wat cld have possibly been. and of cuz i'll miss my loved ones, and i'm sure vice versa..but well i trust God's ways are higher than those of men (and women.
)..ya.. so now i treasure my life, and my loved ones more.. along with it im' so much more grateful to Him..for giving us so much time before the day of judgement. for someone once said "His grace to us is time". which is true i htink. of cuz His grace includes salvation for us too la.
but actually its really hard not to take life for granted. cuz well being able to breathe, being able to know, and to react to wat's happening around us is such a given in our lives.. isnt it?? ya.. its an effort, but its to be made, to always be appreciative of the grace He's given us, and to make good use of the time that we're given to do what we should. amen.
***
erm actually i wrote the above post a few days before.. i din have the time to finish the post so i saved it as a draft. but now i forgot wat i wanted to blog.. heeehh..
anwz as some of you noe, i went back school to see the doc on thurs. i suspected i was bout to fall sick and i was hoping he cld give me some preventive medicine. well he did confirm that i was about to get viral infection, and he did give me lots of medicine (which cost me $13, which is alot if you're trying hard to save money. now i know why some pp dun really like to visit the doc. haha). but later on my fren who's studying for her honours in pharmaceutical degree told me that viral infections cannot be prevented or cured, the medicines i got from him was juz to relieve the symptoms. and so now i'm juz waiting for the viral infection to manifest itself..haiz. he also assured me that others have been experiencing the dizzy spells even after the quake too. ok so now i know i wasnt making htings up, and i'm not tat abnormal after all. heh.
hmmm msn is having qte alot of probs lately. twice, while having conversations w my frens, they'd juz appear to go offline and sign in again, and go offlien and sign in again, and this'd happen like every one minute. and strangely, its not the usual case of being d/ced on and off. cuz this time while they were offlien, they din realise it , and cld still send msgs to me. but i cldn't send to them. and apparently their (at least, his) friends experience this prob w them too.. hmm.
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