to love someone is, besides other things, to understand him/her and use that understanding to do the best for him/her...no?

some paragraphs from "Courage and Calling" by Gordon T. Smith:

" A misguided sense of duty is exposed in another way when we confuse compliance with the important and legitimate discipline of spiritual submission. We are called to live in submission within the Christian community. We cannot function effectively within the organizations in which we work if we do not acknowledge and live out of the reality that someone must have authority and will probably make decisions with which we disagree.

Compliance is another matter. When pp in authority call for compliance, they are calling for unthinking, undiscerning obedience. Many religious leaders want this, implying that anyone who differs with them is disloyal, either to them or to the church. They believe that compliance and submission are one and the same.

We are called to accountability and submission; we are called to live in gracious harmony within the Christian community and this means that we need to let leaders lead. But we must never equate the voice of leadership with the voice of God. We must always distinguish between teh prompting of the Spirit on the one hand, and the voice of human authorities on the other. Our fundamental posture must be one of submission and honor; but we must live and work with the understanding that the voice of God and the voice of those in authority over us are not necessarily the same."

xin1 (heart) de2 (gains): we are called to be submissive, but that does not mean following someone else's lead w/out thinking or making sure that it is from God.......

as my msn nick suggests, htink im realli realli sylli........... i think i'll try harder to give myself less torture.. and instead, more happiness.



cheers!!!

fav songs of the moment:

HOLE IN THE HEAD by sugarbabes (cool~)

BREATHE IN by lucie silvas

UNWRITTEN by ashley simpsons

ALMOST HERE by delta goodrem and cant-rem-who (the story of the song sounds juz a bit familiar)


only have the sugarbabes song. anyone with the rest of the 3, hope you dun mind being a sweetie pie and send me when i'm online... heeeez. thx alot!!

but why do i even bother????

its hard to let go of preconceived notions.. to learn and adopt a new attitude to how things shld be like, how things shld be done...

oh anw my sis juz bought a condo near my place!!!!(oh btw for the unknowing, she's getting married. in exactly 1 mths time. ) its city square.. think the advert is showing on tv now. where you want anythign you juz have to use 2 gigantic fingers to get it.

lucky her.. got a condo so near the city. hmmm i hope i can get one near my place too....cuz i really like it here.. good transport (a good number of buses, within walking dist from mrt, and taxi stand), near city (which is where the concentration of entertainment is, kekeke), good eating places (but i only noe of the bak chor mee which moved from marina square) and near the sea(its highly unlikely that a tsunami will strike sg, so its ok). heehee.

when 2 pp love each other, they will do things to make each other happy, no?

hmmmmm juz read a blog and it said the author's vulnerable. i feel vulnerable too..........especially so cuz i'm supposed to be strong. ironic huh. heh.

well good luck to me.. if all goes well, then there shldnt be too much overcast entries coming up.

and that's where faith proves its importance. faith that says everything will be alright, that i'll survive to see the rainbow(s) at the end.

actually i dun think this entry makes a lot of sense. well truthfully, my tots are kinda jumbled up too.. i realise this happens to me ALL the time. ie having jumbled up tots. im' so thankful to Him for giving me frens who can see through the mess and help me to see higher sights everytime..

i'm wearing my new specs!! a pity i lost my phone.... sighz. otherwise i can take a pic and post it up.

i'm lookign at my last toe of my right foot now... its doesnt have any nail, and its all black. yepz its the result of me kicking my mom's shoe a few weeks ago.
hmm i'd think its pretty common.. but actually its hte first time its happened to me.. so i'm still wondrous of it..haha

sometimes i think that its best not to clarify things.. cuz the truth might hurt.

**

i'm addicted to msn!!!


**

the daily quotes are not my opinions. today's one is definitely disapproved by me..(the one about toys)

**

when the results of personality tests dun match wat you think are your true traits, it either means that the test is inaccurate, or it means tat you still have a lot to learn about yourself -- your preferences, your reactions etc, and your view of yourself.

**

i really cannot make it.. i need more strength.. to keep myself from doing what i shldnt do.

***

FAITHFUL IS HE WHO HAS PROMISED


Are you passing through a testing
Is your pillow wet with tears?
Do you wonder what the reason,
Why it seems God never hears?


Why it is you have no answer
To your oft--repeated plea,
Why the heaven still is leaden
As you wait on bended knee?


Do you wonder as you suffer,
Whether God does understand,
And if so, why He ignores you,
Fails to hold you in His Hand?


Do black doubts creep in, assail you,
Fears without--and fears within,
Till your brave heart almost falters
And gives way to deadly sin?


All God's testings have a purpose-
Someday you will see the light.
All He asks is that you trust Him,
Walk by faith and not by sight.


Do not fear when doubts beset you,
Just remember--He is near;
He will never, never leave you,
He will always, always hear.


Faithful is He who has promised,
He will never let you fall,
Daily will the strength be given
Strength for each and strength for all.


He will gladly share pain with you,
He will gladly give you peace.
Till your tired and weary body
Finds its blessed, glad release.


When the darkened veil is lifted,
Then, dear heart, you'll understand
Why it is you had to suffer,
Why you could not feel His hand


Giving strength when it was needed,
Giving power and peace within
Giving joy thru tears and trial,
Giving victory over sin.


So till then just keep on trusting,
Thru the sunshine and the rain,
Thru the tears and thru the heartaches,
Thru the smiles and thru the pain


Knowing that our Father watches,
Knowing daily strength He'll give,
Victory for each passing hour,
This is life, so let us live!


by John E. Zoller

its strange how i can instinctively detest things that a friend likes..

ok i'm seriously thinking of changing my background liao. but so far i havent tot of any concept that surpasses the current one yet.. i htink my creative juices are running out. hmmmm. wait, were they ever there???

sighz, i dunno why i keep doing the same things even tho i get hurt time and again. why God, why??? izzit juz cuz i'm rebellious.. or izzit cuz its your plan??

i juz made a new pair of specs yesterday. i hope from next friday (tats when i collect it) i can go out w specs w/out feeling ugly.. haha.

update: i felt another tremor again.. so its 3 tremors in 14 days... goodness... wats the world coming to..............

did you all feel it??? i juz (sunday about 630pm) felt an earthquake again!!! i confirmed that it wasnt that i was experiencing an extra bad case of dizzy spells.. cuz i saw the lamp swaying again!!

2 earthquakes in 14 days..qte alarming ya??

oh no..i wonder when my dizzy spells are gonna stop for good. *helpz*

sometimes i feel like a flower.. trying hard to grow out of the soil to receive the sun.. but oftentimes trampled on.

seriously, its not a good feeling.

ok.. i'm contactable again liao.. thx to angelus and his fren. ya so now i'm using a trusty old N8310. smile. sighz now cannot take pics.. otherwise i'd have taken a pic of it.

yepz, of cuz thx to rainne also, for letting me use her phone for qte long on teh day tat i lost hte phone and accompanying me to make police report, and also ty for helping me to suspend the line.

so now i'm right back on track! yay. juz waiting to buy a new phone at some bargain price.. hehe. i'm actually thinking of buying the same model (ie SE k700i), but at a cheaper price, or buying its successor - the SE k750i... hehe.. but the SE k750i hasnt arrived in starhub shops yet, so its highly possible that even if i wait a few months more the price will still be qte steep.. hmmm well i hope it goes to below $300.

hmmm actually the reason y i din wanna use nokia was cuz i tot everyone's using it. but i realised that seems like everyone's using SE instead. heh. probably cuz of same (if not better) features at cheaper price compared to nokia ba. but its ok! i like SE more and more.. to the extent that i dun really care that its getting super common in sg.

oh ya and i lost everyone's contacts.. gonna go ard collecting again liao..



hmmm recently someone told me to take more salt. i mean usually pp are advised to refrain from too much salt intake right?? haha..
anw the reason y he advised me tat was cuz i keep getting toe cramps. he says minerals help to prevent cramps. dunno how true tat is but sounds interesting.. guess i'll try it out.. haha so now i got more excuse to gorge on fries!!!


oh i'll blog about tao soon..

i lost my phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sobz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i lost it on the bus.. put it on my lap to free up my hand so tat i cld adjust my skirt.. and apparently din realise it dropped when i alighted from teh bus.

and the STOOOPID thing is. i realised i lost it like 5 min after i alighted. i called sbs soon after. but they said all they cld do was to wait at the terminal and inform me if anyone reported a lost hp. i mean, i was sure the phone was still on the bus when i called sbs. if only they cld juz talk to the driver of tat bus there and then, i wldn't have lost it loh. but no........ they "didn't have walkie talkies".. so .. i cld only juz let my phone go juz like tat.........
sighz..........my new and beloved SE k700: mp3 player, radio and camera all in one.............. gone juz like tat.

its highly unlikely tat my phone will be returned.. cuz apparently rainne called me after i lost the hp and her phonecall got rejected.. and if that person meant to return my hp, he'd have picked up the call and told her tat my phone is lost right???

sighz if i ever pick up a lost hp, i'll definitely return it. cuz its really heartbreaking to lose one... sobz

i dunno whether i shld get back the same model.. cuz i shld think the retail price is much more htan wat i got it for (with 2 year plan with starhub).. ya.. tats one major reason why my heart is so pain now..............
boo hoo....

learnt a few lessons from htis:
1. never wear tat skirt again, so tat i wont have to adjust it and thus absentmindedly put my hp on my lap.
2. never travel on sbs buses again

haha ok i was juz joking. of cuz i'll wear tat skirt again (cuz my inventory of skirts isn't tat big, and i do like to wear things other than jeans) and of cuz i'll have to take sbs buses again.

anw ya so.. now i have to hunt for replacement phones.. any kind souls with extra phones to lend??

and in the meantime, i guess i wont be contactable.. can only contact me via email or msn.. sighz..

oh yesterday was april's fool. i used to dislike it, cuz i'd be nervous throughout the day, afraid that pp wld play some unwelcome jokes on me. (yeah i'm the meek kind.. dun play pranks on pp one. )i'd always imagine pp to pour flour or water on me, or use fake cockroaches to scare me. thank goodness they never materialised (and i hope they'll never!!). hmm come to think of it, i only remember 2 pranks played on me in my entire 22 years and 2 months+ of lifetime.. mebbe i only rem them and not the others cuz they were played on me by my crushes . but anw thank goodness htey were juz minor minor pranks. heh. but of cuz even if they were major ones i'd still have a crush on them la. haha. hmm but mebbe i'll be annoyed a lil bit.

yeah i din see the point of april's fool. i din see the fun.. but nowadays i start to learn to appreciate the lighter side of life, to be able to relax more and to enjoy more of the little little things in life.. i mean not to say tat i was really dead serious and boring last time, juz that nowadays i do more things juz for fun.. heh. and now i view april's fool as a legitimate day for pp to have a bit of fun (but not at the expense of pp's happiness la). heh.

oops actually wanted to blog about my trip to Tao's restaurant and a small cafe in orchard OG..hehe yeah here're another 2 eating places that im' enthu about. hmmm if pp din noe me they'd think im such a greedy pig, always eating here and there. but think i dun have much time liao.. so guess i'll blog about them in the next entry instead.

preparing to go out liao..

hmmmm actually qte some things have happened to me since the last entry.. but din really have time to blog. actually neither now too. but oh well hair is extremely wet plus im' waiting for someone to come online (no i dun have his telephone number.......) so juz blog loh.

actually i've got other things to do now la (hmm like look at some dance clips, visit frenster) juz tat sometimes my usually missing sense of responsibility decides to make an appearance. you ask "wat has having a sense of responsibility got to do with blogging???" well, thing is, i set up a blog, and (i suspect) this has attracted some readers out there who's not very interested in looking at the same entry everytime they visit this site.

anwz, i shall juz get to the primary purpose of this site ie to do updates on the life of yours truly. think i'll do it in reverse chronological order, its easier this way. heh.

firstly i'm feeling dizzy right now. most probably its not due to the tremors of an earthquake, but i ca'nt help but wonder if wat i'm experiencing is the 2nd round of tremors resulting from teh 8.6 earthquake off sumatra which occured yesterday night. hmmm think the more probable explanation of my dizzy spell is that I am suffering a post-trauma experience of wat happened last night. ie my flat swaying to and fro (i stay on 21st storey fyi). k la i wasnt really trauma-traumatised, but juz tat the feelings of unstable ground refuses to go away completely. oh manz i hope this stops soon.. its not really a nice feeling.. in fact it makes me scared. hmmm mebbe i WAS traumatised after all.. though subtly.

eh then wont i get an even worse post trauma experience when a more serious earthquake happens?? actually my sis and dad experienced earthquake tremors a few years ago too, and they said it was worse than the ones we experienced yesterday night. they said it was so bad that the water in the squatting toilet bowl splashed out.. goodness can't imagine.

ok teh next thing in reverse chronological order is actually something morbid.. i know of 2 deaths within 7 days. tats a really high occurence i think. first was my colleague..she passed away last tues, ie 22nd march. ok la not v close to her but she's juz sittign 2 cubicles away from me loh. i saw her everyday tat kinda thing. then the next day she's not around anymore. i mean, its not juz a long case of mc. its not even resignation. its disappearance from the lives of her family, her frens and all those who know her. and its the cutting short of her dreams, aspirations and hopes..a sudden one at that. oh i havent told you wat happened right. she's actually teh gal who got killed in teh motor accident 2 mths before her scheduled marriage on 17th may..and whose fiance married her posthumously.. her story got published in monday's The Newpaper and on the 2nd page of the Home edition of ST last sat or thurs i forgot.
and the 2nd death is taht of teh grandma of one of my christian brothers, she passed away on 27th mar. she's actually been suffering for qte long, think seh'got diagnosed with cancer like 2 years ago.. but as her grandson said, her will power is really strong.. cuz seems like she waited till all her grand children (except the grandson that i know) got married before she died. and she waited for like 2 years loh. i think in a way its a relief for her, from her suffering..

ya.. i realise i have been taking life for granted..i naturally set plans for myself, and i almost never htink that i'll die before i get to them. but of cuz, i know that God has His plans.. and we can never be sure of what He plans to happen tomorrow.. who knows, tomorrow i may juz return to Him. i mean of cuz i'm still scared when i htink about this possibility. cuz im' still not ready to let go of my life, of wat cld have possibly been. and of cuz i'll miss my loved ones, and i'm sure vice versa..but well i trust God's ways are higher than those of men (and women. )..

ya.. so now i treasure my life, and my loved ones more.. along with it im' so much more grateful to Him..for giving us so much time before the day of judgement. for someone once said "His grace to us is time". which is true i htink. of cuz His grace includes salvation for us too la.

but actually its really hard not to take life for granted. cuz well being able to breathe, being able to know, and to react to wat's happening around us is such a given in our lives.. isnt it?? ya.. its an effort, but its to be made, to always be appreciative of the grace He's given us, and to make good use of the time that we're given to do what we should. amen.

***

erm actually i wrote the above post a few days before.. i din have the time to finish the post so i saved it as a draft. but now i forgot wat i wanted to blog.. heeehh..

anwz as some of you noe, i went back school to see the doc on thurs. i suspected i was bout to fall sick and i was hoping he cld give me some preventive medicine. well he did confirm that i was about to get viral infection, and he did give me lots of medicine (which cost me $13, which is alot if you're trying hard to save money. now i know why some pp dun really like to visit the doc. haha). but later on my fren who's studying for her honours in pharmaceutical degree told me that viral infections cannot be prevented or cured, the medicines i got from him was juz to relieve the symptoms. and so now i'm juz waiting for the viral infection to manifest itself..haiz. he also assured me that others have been experiencing the dizzy spells even after the quake too. ok so now i know i wasnt making htings up, and i'm not tat abnormal after all. heh.

hmmm msn is having qte alot of probs lately. twice, while having conversations w my frens, they'd juz appear to go offline and sign in again, and go offlien and sign in again, and this'd happen like every one minute. and strangely, its not the usual case of being d/ced on and off. cuz this time while they were offlien, they din realise it , and cld still send msgs to me. but i cldn't send to them. and apparently their (at least, his) friends experience this prob w them too.. hmm.