a post that i typed but din post a few weeks ago..


SURPRISE!!! i'm BACK!! bet all of you didnt expect me to post entries, ever again.

well, i dunno y but i juz feel like writing about some thought tat i had just now.. and mebbe the fact that i'm kinda stressed over work contributes to teh blogging mood as well..

you noe, i htink i'm crazy.. i'm currently watching htis bridal channel on the internet where they show dozens and dozens of bridal fashion shows, real weddings, weddign tips, and things to buy for your wedding... haa..and i'm glued to the computer screen now lke i'm glued to teh tv.. the gowns juz wow me.. tey're so pretty!! i've seen a few that i'l really like to wear on my wedding.. and i' boggled by the many things tat you can/shd by for a wedding.. like wedding favours (i din even noe wats tat!! do you??), table placement cards tat guests can bring home as souvenirs.. etc.. i wonder how much those weddings featured in this channel cost.. haha..

but i'm crazy to be watching htis channel now.. cuz its not like i'm getting married anytime soon.. in fact.. i'm kinda depressed over my love life.. its been so messy these past few months.. actually, i havent had a smoothsailing rship since my first one.. i wonder why He is putting me through all these.. mebbe every guy tat comes romanticaly into my life is a test for me.. and i keep failing all the tests?? haa dunno wat i' talking about.. or am i just meant to lead a life free of romantic relationships??

right now i'm facing some problems with this guy.. and i feel so helpless.. there are so many things that i'm upset about..i suspect alot of times i'm just being sensitive and over demanding.. but am i really wrong to want to be loved/pampered by the person i love?? after all, EVERY gal needs pampering.. (it just depends on how much and in wat way the gal wld prefer) and mebbe i shldnt expect him to love me the way i love him..

haizzz...all these times my friends have been there to support me..thanks to all of you.. i really apreciate it.. =D

anw, back to the topic... i was wondering why pp spend so much time and effort on their wedding..which is just one day and which will be followed by back-to-normal life (esp for caucasians who mostly live with their partners before marriage). but now i think i know..guess the only reason that i'll want to make it special would be cuz i'm holding it with the someone i love.. its just like why i really enjoyed gg to the URA (urban redevelopment authority)..you noe?

i used to think pp make their weddign special juz cuz its the norm to do so.. now i think mebbe not..

Your Boss Isn't Psycho, but Your Boss Stinks

Your boss is probably not mental. Still, your boss is not competent or professional. You may want to transfer departments or get a new job, before your boss sucks out your soul.

Is Your Boss Psycho?

wahahahahaa

hey my pirouttes are back! so strange. its gone missing for i think at least a year.. then suddenly come back again.

for those who dunno wat i'm talking about, i'm talking about the link at hte bottom of each entry which says "do a pirouette!" (or "(x) pirouttes!"). this link is like the normal comments link, where you can post comments on my entries. i put it in when i started this blog, but along the way it went missing so i replaced it with the normal comments link from blogger.. tats y you also see the normal blogger comment link at the bottom of each entry, beside the pirouttes.

yup and i rem explaining why i call it pirouettes.. cuz pirouettes are short spins in ballet jargon. so i guess tat'd be an apt moniker for short paragraphs of comments from my frens, which keeps with the theme of my blog, which is dance .

anw. there's a reason why i havnet been blogging for soooooo long. 2 months plus infact. haha no its not cuz my comp's down again, nor have i finally gone for a holiday (but went for short cruise tho), its also not juz cuz i'm lazy........ its cuz i'm superstitious.

haha first i'm caught up in material stuff (refer to jeffrey's comments in the previous post), now i'm superstitious.

anw yeah.. i din blog cuz i was superstitious.. dun ask anymore.. if you noe wat i'm talking about, good. if not, it doesnt matter. haaaa

anw i'm actually at work now. i guess most of you would probably noe tat i've found a full-time job ald, but for those readers who havnet been keeping touch in me much (dun worry i'm equally as guilty of not making tat contact.. so lets forgive each other and of cuz do sthg about it). I'm working York International, now known as johnson controls and actually the reason i'm coming up here is for work also.

haha no its not that my company encourages us to blog (yes in fact i shldnt be doing this now). its juz tat i was thinking it'd be nice to record down some work stuff which'd come in handy later. of cuz, this is juz experimental. oh wait come to htink of it, i realise it may not be a good idea.. most prob even if i do start this idea, i wont be able to keep this up for long anw. cuz everytime i open up my internet browser, i have to log in and i guess this (besides letting the mgmt noe my online whereabouts, also)increases the inconvenience of me accessing this webbie. which defeats the purpose cuz the purpose is for me to check back regularly wat i've recorded. haha. oh well. ok nvm forget it cuz i realise the blog can only display 5 entries at a time.. which means i cnat access data tat i recorded 5 entries ago. haa.

ok back to work for now.. tho i'm kinda dstracted by something. and becuz i'm superstitious, i cant disclose wat that something is.. oh well mebbe there's no need to be superstitious le.. heh.. ok nvm i noe you're not catching any ball but juz let me ramble k. haiz.

my new desire......










hmmm but cons are lack of radio and camera light. plus will be prone to smudges and stains and scratches on its mirrorlike finish.


to accept it as it is, recognising its flaws as part of its character, or to reject it and look for another one?? tat is the one question tats been plaguing me nowadays......haiz. =(


and oh, it is sony ericsson Z610i. (yes i am a loyal fan of SE phones)

when will i learn to stop being so gullible???

finally!!!!!!!!

i can finally post sthg on my blog. if you have been faithfully checking back on this blog you'll have noticed tat altho there is an 27th aug entry, you din notice it the previous times you checked.. tats cuz there was an error publishing tat post which says sthg like archive limit exceeded which made me htink my blogging days are gone forever till i open up a new blogging account.

so does this mark the start of my comeback to the blogosphere??? i really dunno. i'm blogging only cuz i'm in school and im' lazy to go cadcam lab to explore solidworks, which i set for myself to do. arrrrgh talk about being developing a disciplined lifestyle. heh.

yes i realised there are many things i wanna talk about right now floating about in my mind.. for eg why am i in school, which points to the fact tat i havent found a job, and also the possibility tat i may stop dancing at least for now.. and.. etc etc mebbe i'll juz list them in pt form and elaborate accordingly. haha

ok why am i in school. i signed up for a dreamweaver workshop, which turned out to be a lecture w no handson. but it was a demonstrative lecture, as he showed us how he did certain things. so tho i din really practice much i guess i'd have some basics if i decide to really delve into the macromedia world (yup i've also some basics in flash ald, thx to cow)

then i also tot to use the printers in teh lib to print out some giro form for my internet connection at home, as the printer in my house is practically non-existent from teh day it died on me. i dunno y, but printers keep dying in my house. this is at least teh 3rd printer tat's died in my house ald. issit hte curse of my house or juz me???

and about 40min later i'm gg to meet brian, my dance partner. i think this mtg may possibly mark the end of yet another failed partnership. sadly, unlike the previous ones, this one failed (more accurately, gg to fail) not becuz of events which led to mutual dislike, but becuz some of my priorities clash w dance. and obviously since we're partners his progress in dance depends on me as well. and as i really dun wan to be an obstacle to his passion i think its only right tat we break partnership. besides in terms of competition results we're not performing very well too. so ya.. i may juz be out of the dancing circle very soon.. will miss dance of cuz, esp when i hear latin dance music, but i guess this is the best solution, at least for now. cuz well i realy dun wanna give up my other priority... hee.

and haiz still no job. why why why................so far i've only gone for interviews from dell and smrt taxis. am i really so lousy?? this fren of mine, kimberly has had 15 interviews so far im' really envious of her. she's had 2 offers but both are offering paltry amounts below 2k. but well its not really surprising cuz i think most of the companies are small enterprises, which i dun really care for anw. so ya i' not taaat jealous yet. =p

i'm really hungry.. think i'll go eat now.. ~ciao

test

wow........ its been like 2 months plus since i havent blogged....... i wonder if there are any more pp reading this webbie now..heh..

well for those who havent been keeping in touch w me, and have been wondering which country i have gone touring, the answer is zilch. haha. havent been visiting any places, juz tat my modem died for like close to 2 mths so its kinda inconvenient to blog. and after i finally got my modem set up, i've been lazy to blog.. so only came back now..

many tots and experiences on my mind now..the past 2 months has really been interesting.. i feel that somehow, i have transited into teh next phase of my life - the past is the past. mebbe its got to do with my graduation, but mostly not.. some changes have crept into my life, and tho i'm usually a sentimental person, i welcome these changes, and am expectant of what it brings.

hmmm as my mind goes through wat has happened the last 2 months, i realise there are really many things i can blog about.. like my convocation, and sore lack of interview offers (not a single one, HAIZ.. wats wrong w my job applications..), the many many places i went w my oh-so-lovable pet mouse, the headnshoulders promoter job tat i did (head & shoulders juz added a new shampoo variant into their repertoire, and its called natural shine. contains tea tree oil, hence the nice smell and skincare benefits tat comes along with aromatherapy oils. from wat i noe its the only shampoo w tea tree oil. ok and i wont go further into y everyone shld use H&S Natural Shine.. have been doing tat for 6hours plus every wkend for the past 3 weeks. haa), and, most recently, the very disappointing performance i showed at the lion city dance comp yesterday. really makes me wonder whether i'm suitable to be a dancer after all.. for once, i'm undecided whether to continue dancing. and for once, i shed a tear becuz of dance. juz thinking of it makes me melancholy again. haiz.

time flies.. i shld get back to doing wat im supposed to be doing online, and tats to send resumes. haha. haiz i really hope i can get interviews soon.. hmmm someone juz sent an sms to remind me to trust an unknown future with a known God. Amen. i really thank God for the love tat He has shown me through the pp that he has placed in my life.

anw till the next entry, which hopefully will be posted up soon... hee. ~ciao

taken from a friend's friendster account..

a ger asked her lover who was gifted with a pair of wings, to spend more time wif her. The lover restricted himself frm flyin. So afraid tat her lover might one day still fly away frm her, the ger asked him again... to give up his freedom to fly n realli settle down wif her. All these yr, the lover wanted to protect himself by keepin his wings as he was being cheated so mani time. Knowing her fear, the lover chopped off his wings even though he was still uncertain if the ger realli wan to settle down wif him anot. Hopping tat she will be his last love n realli settle down wif her. The wings was removed...the lover returned to her days later....but could found oni a note which was left behind for him....." I waited for u for so long, i noe u wun give up ur wings for me. I already left wif someone who dun hav wings"
dun ever make someone fall for u ...when u dun intend to catch him in the 1st place. It is the most terrible thing to do to someone in their life.
One day, u might be the one who is going to fall for someone else who is not there for u at all... maybe u had already fallen...n still thinking tat the one u fallen for will b there for u at the end of the fall. ......mayb not...


dun ever make someone fall for u ...when u dun intend to catch him in the 1st place.
how true.....this is the reason why i'm so bitter.. so hurt..


the least you can do now is to apologise.. but you dun even want to do tat.

here it comes again......... merry go round.. only this time it isnt so merry.

dunno why i'mfeeling so sad.. isnt this the best way out for us?

i'm wondering if i'm juz making a big fuss out of things.. wat's so bad about someone not caring a hoot for me? not like i dun have any friends. bleah.

yes spring is approaching.. but the cold winter winds are still blowing.. still blowing.. my eyes are threatening to sting..

dear.. why do you leave me grasping at memories.. that are so elusive...

my heart is broken.. after being torn apart so many many times..

why do you lie to me all these while..? why do you like to lead me on to nothing at the end..?

the necklace.. its colour has gone dull....
woodlands library.. i can never be back there again..

i jus want to hide in the corner.. pls dun disturb me..



dear all: I AM OK. no worries.

this is again a draft which i typed and din get to post.. i forgot when i typed it..


and again, this is also from another gal's blog.. specifically, shakeyourbooty's blog. think its written by her.. its a beautiful poem. tho its not written by me, i completely agree with it. its basically how i feel..haha yes this is one post tat is not written by me, but which i agree with, unlike the previous post tat i quoted from somebody else. heh.

"To speak of love in its rawest form,

You need to know it true

I write of something and yet realize

That I really have no clue.



Love is not jealous

And definitely not unkind

But a precious treasure

Extremely hard to find.



I see love as a fantastic gift

The best one ever could give

But I think I have not learned

Just how to let love live.



I dismiss comments vehemently

The ones I sometimes hear

That I take love too lightly

Even when I draw one near.



But it frightens me to think

Of giving my heart away

Maybe it’s a subconscious prevention

Of getting it hurt some day.



The strength of love maybe lies in weakness

Of vulnerability

And if I’m willing to offer that

Then you’re the one for me.



The voice of love is one that speaks

When logic screams otherwise

The one that makes one act in ways

Against all other cries.



The feeling of love may overwhelm

But may also die away

And it’s commitment, if it’s been made

That urges one to stay.



And that sat me down to think

Of what I really fear

It’s losing love after commitment’s been made

To one I once held dear.



I don’t know when that day will come

Or if it ever will

A day that I will finally learn

How to love until



You’re in so deep there’s no way out

And yet you feel complete

And fulfilled in all ways possible

Now there is love replete.



To love in a way in which there is

Plenty of room to grow

One in which I am completely myself

Maybe that is how I’d know.



When one becomes a better person

To him, and all around

By dismissing practicality,

With two feet on the ground."