Tuesday, April 06, 2004

music of the moment: AnOtheR number in Love Actually OST *luurrve that sound track =D*

hihi i'm back..been a few days w/out blogging liao eh..

think i sorta forgot my motivation tat caused me to start a blogging website..... tats y havent been really blogging.. and also cuz been bz with work..but i realised that's not an excuse not to blog, cuz i'll ALWAYS be busy. so if i only blog when i'm not busy, i htink i'll never blog. heh. so here goes.

anw speaking of motivation to start this blog, shall juz them share with everyone. If i havent mentioned before, or if you havent already realised, i started blogging cuz
1. wanted to keep in touch with frens, so tat all of you who are interested to may noe wats gg on in my life since i dun get to see all of you everyday :(
2. to let all of my frens noe more about me, wat i think, wat i like
3. to let me understand myself more ie to find myself as expressed at the top of the rhs bar, and to find out wat my perspectives are ie to grow(sounds narcissistic eh? :p)
4. to improve my communication skills which i think i'm really lacking in

yeah those are my motivation to start blogging.. but i realised after i started to blog, wat made me keep coming back to blog is not so much of all the above anymore.. rather i come back cuz of my success in tweaking with the template of the blog despite the lack of knowledge and experience of the prog lang. kinda proud of it and so wanted to achieve more.. tweaking more stuff.. so i come back only because i have, in hyperscorpic's words, become a "script kiddie". *btw he has a brand new website up. interesting.. worth one, if not many visits. check out the perspectives..its (delicious) food for tot :)*

but now that my enthusiasm for scripts has waned a little, i've come back to thinking bout my original reasons for blogging.. and i realised, yeah i havent been writing much bout my tots nowadays... and tat kinda defeats the purpose of setting up a blog right??????

anw sometimes there are events/things which i can blog about but i dun. i realise its cuz they're things which i dun really want to think about. things tat make me unhappy.. and coincidently qte a few of them are related to dsa. heh. dsa.. really problematic.. at least for my batch.. heh. anw back to my pt.. tat i think i'm an escapist?? heh.. have done tat qte a lot of times. think its kinda bad leh... think i'll think bout being an escapist some other time..haha.

i'm constantly escaping from a lot of stuff. besides escaping from thinking whether i shld continue escaping, i'm also escaping from studyign for my test which is gg to start in 5 hrs time, 3 of which will be spent slping if i go to bed now.

i realise i'm taking a risk by writing all this down. but well. i'm honest with myself and with the whole world. dun like to be a hypocrite. and i try not to deceive myself. i was ald prepared to take this risk right from the moment i started an account with blogger anw. so there.

think i should really think bout how i can stop escaping.. but there seems to be no time.. hmmz think i noe how come i keep escaping liao..

this post is really terrible. mebbe i'll delete it after some time. mebbe i wont, like all the other posts which i tot bout deleting but din in the end. oh well. htink i'll juz continue taking the risk ba.

hmmz htink the reason y this post is so terrible is partly cuz of my general mood nowadays and partly cuz of hte time i'm writing this. therefore not in the usual frame of mind, whether right or not. heh.

...........

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