music of the moment: Day Without Rain by Enya

oh man wat am i doing here so late at 4am in teh morning.
said i wanna go back to slping early, but in the end? weak will power took over

i think i have changed. qte a bit. have been doing a lot of new stuff lately. heh. good or bad? think i'll have to monitor. to control too much, things wont improve. too little, and things may go haywire. arrgh i feel lazy... too lazy to monitor every decision i make. sometimes i juz leave things to circumstances.. sometimes i decide on sthg and hope things work out. no longer the logical and doubtful me. heh.

dun think this entry makes sense. too garbled.

anw happy for a fren. he got attached. initially was really shocked actually. din see it coming at all!!! told me tat things only started to build up (from near scratch!!!) within a few weeks??? sometimes things are juz a bit bu4 ke3 si1 yi4. and tats y, have hope!!! in watever you do, no matter wat happens to you. you never know wat God's plans are. for they're above logic, above men.

brothers and sisters, let us endure! like onesiphorus. and remember the soldier, the athlete and the farmer. for treasure is already there for us, juz tat its kinda hard for us to see it now. heh. and for those who have disowned, come back, for a lost son is always precious, is always treasured.

think i should sleep soon. be happy :)

music of the moment: Day Without Rain by Enya

hmmmm thurs was a really special day.. cuz it was teh end of sthg.. yet the beginning of anohter.. haha did qte a few interesting things for the first time too.. *winkz*

hmmmm but.. juz went to suntec juz now, and i realised htis beginnign may come with the end of another....altho it wld really be nice if we cld enjoy bliss together.. but.. hmm can only see wats gonna happen next.. hope htings turn out fine.....

hmm really abstract entry tonight :P

music of the moment: Day Without Rain by Enya

just read someone's blog juz now.. and i feel a bit shang1 gan3. i feel that it seems like his world is so different from mine now.. like i can't really relate to it.......the style of the tots are similar.. but juz ca'nt relate, i also dun really noe why.

then again, i havent been really able to relate all the while..

mebbe its cuz my expectations are too high, wat i think natural, is only a maybe. sometimes when you expect too much of something, you tend to miss the little traces of it, which are actually good enough..hmm so mebbe if i learn to let go, things will better??

i realise one can be a great counsellor.. but no one is ever a lousy consoler. if you console a fren, and your fren does not feel better, it does not mean you're lousy. it juz means tat wta you offer does not coincide with wat your fren needs. so.. ya i was wrong bout someone.. i apologise......

ya this ends my blog for today. gotta wake up early to go work as a salesgal in bugis tmr.. and ya tats wat i've been doing for the past 3 days (from 9am to 9pm.. my feet hurts!!!) tats y the absence of any new entries..

music of the moment: Day Without Rain by Enya

wah finally my blog got music..... Thanks to The Cow, as he wants to be known.. arhahaha...hmm if its too noisy juz click the stop button k!!! heeez.

but. for now at least, i cant post the other music up yet.. cuz.. err of some technical probs.. :P sigh i shall see wat i can do once again.

yepz juz went swimming today 2nd time swimming this week! alone somemore! first time doing tat.. hmm qte proud of myself... heez.. cuz there's some progress on my health and fitness project! ie to exercise more :P hmm but then i was kinda proud of myself for being able to slp early too.. and nowadays i've gotten back to the slp-at-3 routine.. heh
hmm nono, i muz get back to slping early. soon. :P

hmm sigh......... somethings.. yuan3 zai4 tian1 bian1, jing4 zai4 yan3 qian2.. oh well y shld i care.. no point if i'm the only one who cares.

anw cant stay for long gonna meet fren liao.. shall continue blogging soon! (hopefully) =D

music of the moment: nil

hmm my fren juz told me tat he got paid to watch the 12 Girls Band from china.. im' soooooooooooo jealous!!!!!!! i mean.. its not the money.. its the fact tat he got to one of my fav band w/out paying a single cent...... arrgh

and sad to say i heard the attendance was only like.. 1/4??? guess not everyone noes how to appreciate them.. and those who do, can't afford?? like me.. heh

i got to noe another sad thing.. my fren juz told me tat he recently lost teh 3rd fren due to depression.. from suicide.. its really qte sad.. that so many people are falling prey to depression nowadays..

ya i think its good that the govt is trying to raise awareness of depression nowadays.. so that more people may be more willing to step forward to seek help, rahter than just feeling that they can solve it on their own..even when they're considering suicide.. in fact i've known that this is a medical condition since young.. cuz well. one of my relative's been taking medication for years..

and actually she doesn't really like people to know about it..i guess its cuz she's afraid that pple will think she's mental.. i juz think of those people as those who're really ignorant who doesn't care to widen their perspectives.

ya i juz wanna say that contrary to backward belief, having psychological illness DOES NOT equate to being crazy. psychological illness can take various forms, ranging from depression to ocd to schizophrenia and only pple afflicted with a select few types of psychological illness act weird and have to be confined to a hospital. otherwise, for the most part, they lead normal lives, have very normal behaviours (except when its acting up and for most of teh pple act-ups are really infrequent).

hmmm tats bout it. i hope this clears the air..

music of the moment: nil

oh wowz its been dunno how many days.........

alot of things have happened to me this past week!!! alot of things needed my decision.. have been thinking here thinking there about all htose stuff these few days.. esp when i'm bathing or when i'm lying on the bed... whehter it be in the morn, or in the night.. and its taking a toll on my slp!!!
ya.. havent been slping well manz.. i keep waking up.. and my slp is kinda extra light nowadays. darn.

realised tat my mindset is changing nowadays.. changing to be different from some of my frens.. but i trust my frens to want the best for me.. to catch me if i shld fall..

and.... que sera sera.. sometimes.. the timing is juz not right

and.. somethings.. are juz deep inside you.. such tat you cant really fathom.. oh well

hmm and i've got alot of things to read.. alot of cds to play.. dunno whether i've got time and discipline for all of them :P

music of the moment: nil

have been out the past few days now resting at home..

hmm have had some happening days this week!

lets see.. learnt the babysteps of flash from ty.. think its interesting! i look forward to being able to do more stuff.. got teh prog from him guess will be practising and exploring more at home.

wed had slight food poisoning after eating lunch at this restaurant at this civil service club.. but nevertheless had fun listening to the banter around me.. altho think the youngest person there (beside me) was like 46 yrs old??

hmmz feeling rather stressed now.... whole of my exam results were released yesterday night.. din do too well.
juz now was planning my timetable and realised that there were qte a few obstacles to me getting an honours, not to say a 2nd class honours which i was hoping to get. trying my best to plan a smooth path but there are so many things to consider..really hope i pull through.. but oh well.. guess i muz juz trust and and hold on..

music of the moment: A Day Without Rain

today managed to wake up in the mornign and get to Andrew's church to witness his baptism.. his was one of immersion in water.. first time i witnessed this kind of baptism actually.. and most prob wont undergo this.. the baptism service in my church is different.

then after tat went to bugis.. wanted to juz takeaway some lunch but ended up being attracted to the boutiques instead.. hehehe.. then i bought this top from m)phorsis at juz 10 bux!!! 70% discount.. haha i only buy clothes from there during their sales.. which as you can see.. is qte a big thing.. heez

and and and -- this i muz say -- crystal jade has opened another kitchen at bugis!!! ok i noe it may seem like juz a small hting.. but combine one of my fav restaurants with my fav hangout.. and you have a big rxn from me! hehee =P

realised i dun like to think.......i feel more than i think..and i often use my intuition for judgement.. and it seems like alot of times they are deep in my subconscious.. tats y very often i feel sthg.. but i dun really noe wat they are, and how to express them..suppose tats y i say my communication skills are lousy.. heh.. no choice, my brain is small.. hahaaa

even as i type the above paragraph, i'm squeezing my brain juices to figure things out.. to figure wat is gg on..

hmm..... am i stoopid or wat........ ha-ha

music of the moment: A Day Without Rain

this is irritating.. cld have slept earlier if not for - guess - a pot of curry!!!

ya.. this is too stupid for me to blog.. so shan't elaborate.. bleah..

hope i can wake at 8am for andrew's baptism tomorrow....

music of the moment: A Day Without Rain

new game to play with for all of you.. happy guessing!
courtesy of teddybearhao =P

music of the moment: A Day Without Rain

today is a saturday!!!!!

so far all my holiday saturdays have been spent at home. no dates! no tv! so boring. in a stoning mood for most of the day.
did nothing much.. played a bit of piano, read a bit. and only 30 min of tv tats slightly interesting. bleah.

all the hype bout saturday being the most happening day of the week does'nt help either! k logically i noe its only cuz the poor working class have to work mon to fri so sat and suns are their only day to have fun. but not me. but still!.. esp when the tv station expects everyone to be out partying on sat so doesnt broadcast any interesting progs.. arrgh~

anw yest sthg embarrassing happened to me. dunno y i was really really rude to this lady.. dunno wat came over me.. right in the middle of orchard road! everyone saw my rude act.. so embarrassing..

hmmz but its a good thing la.. woke me up.. made me realise tat i've been getting more and more aggressive..... this is baaaaaaaaaaaadddd!!! i guess its a side effect of growing to be bolder.. to dare to ask for things which i want instead of juz cowering and accepting juz the things tat pple give me. i mean ya i still think its good.. cuz this attitude got me things which i otherwise wldn't have gotten.. but now htis incident has reminded me tat i muz have control and not let it get to my head.. ie its good to be assertive, but not aggressive.. again, its MODERATION.. (xj: wats tat phrase again??)

oh, and yest i discovered i failed my maths!!! terrible. i mean i wldn't care less if not for tat 1) i've yet to clear another equally heavy subject. means besides the really horrible and heavy year 3 subjs tat i've to take next sem, i still have to take care of these 2 subjects. an alternative is to take them in year 4, but i'd have my fyp to be concerned about. arrgh. headache. and 2)i'd think maths carries a heavy weightage in the calculation for honours. makes things worse. =(

k enough of griping. falling asleep already. shall be slping soon.. but before tat, shall have prata as supper..yummy.. *winkz*

oh and i realise tat i blog better at night.. have more of the blogging mood at this time. hmmz actually generally i juz have more mood to do more htings at night than in the day. htink i've turned into a night person.. hmmz then isn't it kinda hard for me to revert back to the slp early regime?? nvm, for teh sake of my health (and panda eyes), shall try. hard. bleah.

eh. hope i'm talking sense...........

music of the moment: A Day Without Rain

i juz came back from spa at amore fitness club. now body oily all over...

hmmz it wasnt taaat relaxing.. only truly enjoyed teh head massage.. but i guess its cuz its my "virgin" massage so my body's kinda hard so the masseuse had to knead qte hard.. owww..

but well muz say its really nice of my sis to top up $38 on top of the $50 voucher for my spa trip.. heez..i'm qte lucky to get such a generous sis =P

din slp well last night.. realised nowadays if i start slping past a certain time i'll tend to slp less..i'll juz wake up after a certain duration la

wanted to go watch CO performance on sunday but apparently its full house. full house! cna't believe it. its only by tjco.. i wonder y its so popular..

anw i was saying in some prev post tat im' losing memory.. i think its getting kinda bad, gotten so bad tat i have to think for a while before i can even remember wat i did the day before.. tsk tsk..

and dunno y nowadays everyone is trying to SAVE MONEY.. imean save money we muz (altho i'm sure our money's not in any danger =P) but i value recreation too.. and somethings we juz have to pay before we get them.. i mean isnt it kinda boring to do the same things everytime?? ie the things which are free????

oh but dun get me wrong.. i'm not against saving money.. think its time to start our financial planning ald actually.. in fact kinda proud tat i saved bout 10plus on tcc yesterday.. heez.. hmm nice main, nice drink =)

ya wat i'm trying to say is.. have MODERATION!!! save money we muz, but i think we dun have to go to the extreme..think we'd be depriving ourselves of a lot of things if we restrain ourselves from doing this doing tat all cuz we want to save money..

i dunno if i have mentioned this to anyone before (probably yes)
but i realised tat in MOST things i do, i prefer to do in moderation. (notice the word most, i dun use extremes like ALL.. hehe). like for eg i dun adopt stick rigidly to a stand, i'll tend to qualify my stands. and i guess its also cuz i'm greedy, i want everything.. like in teh above paras, i want money, i also want recrea. ya.. and etc etc.........

heeeeeeeeezz

hmmz.. i dunno who's gonna be teh next AMI but i have a feeling if its Diana.. pple will say its racism.. oh well